Made to Crave - Day 20
In May of 2010 I made a decision to start walking and to lose the excess pounds that I had been carrying around for the past years. My daughter was going to be getting married in October of 2010 and I did not want to go shopping for a dress and spend most of my time standing in the dressing room with a beautiful dress on that was too small while tears streamed down my cheeks. Been there, done that!!
So I joined Weight Watchers and started walking a 5.6 mile loop. That first day I thought I was going to die! I am not kidding you. It was the hardest thing I had done in a very long time. At one point I know that I was crying out to God for someone, anyone to come by and offer me a ride home. God wouldn’t allow it. I got home and collapsed. The next day I put on my sneakers and headed out the door, very sore and asking myself if it was really worth it. It was and I continued doing it every day. Even on the days that the temperature reached 100 I was walking. The weight started to come off and my husband decided to join me. We would have times of walking and talking or just walking and being quiet. We encouraged one another and by the time of the wedding I had lost 35 pounds.
I will never forget the feeling of finding the dress I would wear for the wedding. It was the first dress I tried on and it was a size 10. Not a 16 but a 10 and I felt beautiful. I did cry that day in the dressing room but the tears that fell on my face were tears of joy and accomplishment. I had stayed focused on the goal and I had achieved it. I was so proud of myself.
The only problem with the goal that I made for myself was that when the wedding was over, so was my goal. I found myself not having anything to work for. I still needed to lose about 10 pounds to get where I wanted to but I didn’t have anything to help keep me motivated. My husband and I joined a gym when winter came and we were good about going and I maintained my weight. When spring came I thought that I would just get back outside and walk but I didn’t. I started to make excuses that I was too busy or it was too hot or I was too tired. I stopped walking and I started eating. I have now gained back 20 pounds of what I had lost and I am miserable.
I continue to come up with every excuse possible to not walk and to not eat healthy. But then I read the scripture passage from 1 Corinthians 6:19, “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought with a price. Therefore, honor God with your body.”
My body is a temple and I am to honor God by taking care of it. Wow, that stung. I haven’t been honoring my body but dishonoring God. God sent Jesus to walk this earth and to die on the cross for me. Christ felt the pain of death on that cross. He felt the pain of the nails being driven into his hands and his feet, the thorns piercing his head and the sword cutting his side. When I picture Christ’s pain I realize that I no longer can use the excuse that I am too tired, it is too hot or I am too busy. Christ suffered so that I wouldn’t have to suffer. My being uncomfortable is no longer an excuse I want to make. My heart has been divided, one side knowing that I need to honor God but the other side being loyal to my cravings.
So now I will turn to God with my heart and pray that He will help me. “Teach me your way, O Lord, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name. I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart; I will glorify your name forever.” (Psalm 86:11-12). I can no longer be loyal to my cravings, desires, and excuses for not exercising; I will now be committed to being loyal to honoring God with my body which is a temple of the Holy Spirit.
"Has anyone seen my sneakers?"