The Path of Least Resistance

Last year over Labor Day Weekend, my husband Dave and I, along with our son Andrew, were staying in our family cabin in the Black Hills of South Dakota. The cabin is in Spearfish Canyon and the walls of the canyon face the front and the back of it. Dave and Andrew love to go for long hikes up to the rim rock where you can look for miles at the beautiful landscape of the Black Hills. They had found another trail and begged me to go on it with them. I wasn’t so sure about it but decided that I would go. Now I have to let it be known that the older I get the more afraid of heights I am. So this wasn’t going to be an easy task for me but I said a prayer and headed up the path.

The first few yards weren’t bad. We were talking and sharing observations with each other and I have to admit it was fun. The trail began to get a little more rugged and the climb steep. My breath became more labored but manageable. We had been climbing for quite a while when we stopped and my husband said turn around and look at the view. BIG MISTAKE!!! The only thing I saw was how far up the canyon we had climbed and how far down to the bottom we could fall. The hike suddenly became a path of resistance. I no longer wanted to talk, observe or view the scenery. I went into a panic and anxiety filled me. I became frozen. Dave and Andrew continued to talk about how high we had come, how beautiful it was and how fresh the air smelled as I sat completely still on a boulder. The only thought that was going through my mind was how in the world I was going to go back down that trail and would it really be that much of a problem if a helicopter could just hover over head, drop a basket that I could climb into and then take me back to the cabin?

Dave interrupted my thoughts by telling me it was time to continue up. I believe I gave him a look that said it all. There was no way I was going anywhere and especially going up that trail. It was over and I didn’t want to talk about it anymore. He started giving me the “pep talk” filled with encouraging words. I wasn’t listening and then Andrew joined in by trying to tell me that it wasn’t that far to go to the top. Tears filled my eyes and I silently prayed to God to just lift me off the boulder and place my feet on the ground below. I begged him for a miracle so that I wouldn’t have to face climbing down.

Dave soon realized that I was serious and told me that he would help me by being right in front of me and that we would take it very slow. We started down and I held on to him tightly. Each step felt like it was the last and at times I had to remind myself to breathe. When we finally reached the part of the path where it was easy I felt my body begin to shake. I had been so scared that I had tensed up every muscle.

Dave and Andrew love the adventure, exhilaration and challenge that they face when hiking and I hope they never lose those feelings.

I on the other hand, enjoy walking the path of least resistance. I don’t have to struggle to communicate with the person I am walking with. My words are not labored, my voice is not strained and my heart beats a steady thump-thump. The path is tranquil, serene and smooth. There are no logs to climb over, boulders to scale or tree branches swishing back into my face.

This is also the path that I enjoy the most when walking with God. I’ve walked down into those deep valleys with him and up those mountain trails. Those are the times that I don’t think twice about asking for his help. God has held my hand, pushed me up, carried me down and given me a pep talk filled with encouraging words every time. But the path that I really enjoy and sometimes forget that he is on with me is the path of least resistance. The path where there are no deep valleys or mountain top climbs. Sometimes I am walking on the path looking straight ahead and out of the corner of my eye I see his gentle face and his hand reaching for mine. “I forgot you were here”, I say as I place my hand into his. He turns his face to mine and says, “Child, I am always here, always near, never more than a heartbeat away. Take my hand and tell me about your day.”

Blessings,
Jill

Becoming Uncomfortable

Dear Bloggie Friends,

I wanted to share my message with all of you that I gave yesterday at Grace United Methodist Church where I am the Director of Women's Ministry. The title of the message is "Becoming Uncomfortable" from John 12:20-33 (NLT). Click on this link to watch the video http://vimeo.com/39150062

Blessings,
Jill

Has Anyone Seen My Sneakers?

Made to Crave - Day 20

In May of 2010 I made a decision to start walking and to lose the excess pounds that I had been carrying around for the past years. My daughter was going to be getting married in October of 2010 and I did not want to go shopping for a dress and spend most of my time standing in the dressing room with a beautiful dress on that was too small while tears streamed down my cheeks. Been there, done that!!

So I joined Weight Watchers and started walking a 5.6 mile loop. That first day I thought I was going to die! I am not kidding you. It was the hardest thing I had done in a very long time. At one point I know that I was crying out to God for someone, anyone to come by and offer me a ride home. God wouldn’t allow it. I got home and collapsed. The next day I put on my sneakers and headed out the door, very sore and asking myself if it was really worth it. It was and I continued doing it every day. Even on the days that the temperature reached 100 I was walking. The weight started to come off and my husband decided to join me. We would have times of walking and talking or just walking and being quiet. We encouraged one another and by the time of the wedding I had lost 35 pounds.

I will never forget the feeling of finding the dress I would wear for the wedding. It was the first dress I tried on and it was a size 10. Not a 16 but a 10 and I felt beautiful. I did cry that day in the dressing room but the tears that fell on my face were tears of joy and accomplishment. I had stayed focused on the goal and I had achieved it. I was so proud of myself.

The only problem with the goal that I made for myself was that when the wedding was over, so was my goal. I found myself not having anything to work for. I still needed to lose about 10 pounds to get where I wanted to but I didn’t have anything to help keep me motivated. My husband and I joined a gym when winter came and we were good about going and I maintained my weight. When spring came I thought that I would just get back outside and walk but I didn’t. I started to make excuses that I was too busy or it was too hot or I was too tired. I stopped walking and I started eating. I have now gained back 20 pounds of what I had lost and I am miserable.

I continue to come up with every excuse possible to not walk and to not eat healthy. But then I read the scripture passage from 1 Corinthians 6:19, “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought with a price. Therefore, honor God with your body.”

My body is a temple and I am to honor God by taking care of it. Wow, that stung. I haven’t been honoring my body but dishonoring God. God sent Jesus to walk this earth and to die on the cross for me. Christ felt the pain of death on that cross. He felt the pain of the nails being driven into his hands and his feet, the thorns piercing his head and the sword cutting his side. When I picture Christ’s pain I realize that I no longer can use the excuse that I am too tired, it is too hot or I am too busy. Christ suffered so that I wouldn’t have to suffer. My being uncomfortable is no longer an excuse I want to make. My heart has been divided, one side knowing that I need to honor God but the other side being loyal to my cravings.

So now I will turn to God with my heart and pray that He will help me. “Teach me your way, O Lord, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name. I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart; I will glorify your name forever.” (Psalm 86:11-12). I can no longer be loyal to my cravings, desires, and excuses for not exercising; I will now be committed to being loyal to honoring God with my body which is a temple of the Holy Spirit.

"Has anyone seen my sneakers?"

Blessings,
Jill

Nothing tastes as good as peace feels!

Made to Crave – Day 15

“Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food.” (Romans 14:19-20a)

Last night at my Made to Crave class, we were given our assignments for the week which are:

• To focus our thoughts on God, not food.
• To open our eyes and look for ways to love others.
• On a piece of paper, write, “Nothing tastes as good as peace feels” and then place it on your refrigerator, your pantry or wherever you will see it.
• And on another piece of paper write the word “peace” and place it over the numbers on your scale. Then every time you step on the scale, let the note remind you that your real weight loss goal is peace.

The first three I had no problem with, but that last one shook me up. I’m the person who as soon as I get out of bed in the morning I step on the scale. It’s how I start my day. Lately I’m not a very happy person when I see the numbers but I keep getting on thinking that just maybe the numbers will have changed.

When I saw this assignment I honestly thought there is no way I can do that. In fact I couldn’t even bring myself to put the piece of paper on the scale last evening when I got home from class. This morning though when I went into the bathroom I looked at the scale but I didn’t get on it. Something was pulling me away and I just couldn’t do it. So when I got home for lunch today I got a sticky note, got a pink marker, wrote the word “peace” on it and placed the sticky note on the scale covering the numbers. I then stood on the scale and looked down and all I saw was the word “peace” and I smiled. I read the word out loud and felt good. I didn’t feel the anxiety or the shame when I stood on the scale. I actually felt peace.

When we are so consumed by the numbers on the scale or the food that we eat, we will not have our eyes open to what God has for us even if it is right in front of our face. Seeing the word “peace” didn’t give me anxiety or leave me feeling defeated or stressed. When I read the word “peace” I felt calm and a feeling of empowerment filled my soul. I walked out of the bathroom with a determination I hadn’t felt before and I said out loud, “Nothing tastes as good as peace feels.”

Blessings,
Jill

Caution - Having an unbalanced life can lead to weight gain!

Made to Crave – Day 14

“I tell you, open your eyes and look, at the fields! They are ripe for the harvest.” (John 4:35b)

I can’t remember the last time my stomach actually growled with hunger pains. I can’t even remember the last time I even felt a little bit hungry. It probably has to do with the 20 pounds I put back on over this last year, after working hard to lose 35. I haven’t allowed myself to be hungry. But I can tell you I have felt spiritually hungry and even off balanced in my spiritual and personal life.

I began a new staff position at my church in November of last year, which has taken over my life. Now don’t get me wrong, I LOVE my new position. I am the Director of Women’s Ministry and I am so happy for this opportunity to serve women in the church and to actually get paid to do it. I remember Kathie Lee Gifford say on her talk show a few years ago, that the advice her dad gave her and her sister when it came time to figure out what they wanted to do in a career was to do find what they loved to do and figure out a way to get paid for it. That’s me. I love what I do and I am blessed to be able to get paid while doing it.

The only problem with this new position is that I want to reach as many women as I can and I am also trying so hard to show people that this new position is worth getting paid for. I so want to succeed that I have let my time with God and my family be pushed aside and that is what has caused the imbalance in my life. Seeking the balance is hard to do. Right now I feel that I am being pulled in 3 different directions: God, family and job and I am allowing myself to let my job pull me a lot further.

Seeking the balance in our lives is tricky. There is always someone or something that wants to pull us in their direction and so we let the other areas slip. Having an unbalanced spiritual and personal life will leave you feeling insecure, discouraged, overwhelmed, unorganized and aggravated. It’s not a healthy position to be in. When I am unbalanced in these areas I feel like I can’t accomplish anything. And the last thing I want to think about is what I am eating and when I’m going to exercise. So what do I do? I reach for foods like; cookies, crackers, chips, anything that I can pop in my mouth and fill that emptiness that I have created in myself from being unbalanced.

When we find ourselves being physically overweight and spiritually underweight we need to remember:

• Food can fill our stomachs but never our souls.
• Possessions can fill our houses but never our hearts.
• Sex can fill our nights but never our hunger for love.
• Children can fill our days but never our identities.

Only time spent with Jesus can fill us and truly satisfy us and he really wants us to really believe that. Only by being filled with soul food from Jesus – following Him and telling others about Him – will our souls ever be truly satisfied.

Instead of reaching for that sweet or salty morsel I need to reach for God’s word. Instead of getting out of my chair and heading towards the kitchen, I need to get on my knees and pray to the One who loves me unconditionally and can give me all that I need and can fill those empty places inside of me that I have created.

Thought for the Day (from the Made to Crave devotional) – "Food can fill my stomach but never my soul."

Blessings,
Jill