tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33345809723126749212024-03-13T13:01:26.666-05:00A Journey Starts With One StepLife is a journey that can only begin with a single step.
Today take that step and discover where God is taking you.Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00028145011860010860noreply@blogger.comBlogger91125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334580972312674921.post-38049709771448817012017-01-31T19:38:00.000-06:002017-01-31T19:38:13.472-06:00What if...?<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Leading up
to the presidential election I could barely turn on the news, look at Facebook,
Twitter or any of the news outlets on the internet, because it felt like a
barrage of hate, finger pointing, he said – she said, I’m right your wrong messages.
When I went to the polls on Election Day I didn’t know who to vote for. As I
looked down at my ballot with my pen in hand I was dizzy with confusion,
sadness and uncertainty. It was the first time since I was able to vote that I
didn’t know who to vote for. My mind, my senses, my gut and my heart were all
telling me different things. I finally listened to my gut and so I filled in
the empty circle next to the candidate who I felt wasn’t necessarily the best,
but would be better than the others. I woke up the next morning relieved that
the election was over because I knew that at least for now the hate, finger
pointing, he said – she said, I’m right your wrong messages would finally be
over and I could once again peruse Facebook, Twitter and watch the news without
any sense of dread.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">And all was pretty
good, until Inauguration Day when all hell broke loose. Once again I was faced
with hate filled words, finger pointing, they said – we said, their wrong we’re
right messages flying across the screens of my T.V., computer, iPhone and iPad.
I wanted to hide, fly faraway to a deserted island or to a mountain cabin where
there was no reception for a T.V. or social media. And it wasn’t just coming
from news anchors, talk show hosts or politicians; it was neighbor against
neighbor, brother against brother, sister against sister. On Facebook friends
were unfriending friends, family members unfollowing family members, arguments
and voices raised in streets and communities across our nation. Was this the
same country who just a few short years ago found us in the depths of grief as
towers fell, planes crashed and lives were lost? Each day across our television
screens we heard the names, saw their pictures and heard their stories of life,
work and courage. In our grief we didn’t lash out or turn away, we came
together and offered comfort, hope and love. We offered financial assistance,
quilts and prayer shawls. People stood in lines to give blood and it didn’t
matter who it went to we knew we needed to do it. We were a nation working
together for the same cause, unity.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Today the
word unity feels so foreign. We are not a unified nation but a nation turned
against itself. And I understand the differences of opinions. I understand the
differences in peoples wants and needs. I understand people feeling fear,
because it is in the unknown where fear enters. The unknown causes our senses
to be on high alert. Every new story, every misconstrued word or action, every
new policy, every new declaration causes fear to grow stronger and we no longer
have the ability to decipher what is real or not. We get two or more opinions
from each news program or talk show we watch. No one can come to an agreement
because we want to be right. We are a society that loves to point out everyone’s
indiscretions, faults and failures. We love to say, “See, I told you so.” When
our pride and need of wanting to be right outweighs compassion and
understanding, unity is nothing more than a word found in the dictionary. The
meaning of unity is useless until we take action.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">As I watched
the marches and protests erupt the day of and after the inauguration and over the last few days, I heard the voices and read the signs. At times I was
in agreement and understanding and at other times I was upset and mortified.
I’m not against marches and protests because I know that when they are done
responsibly and with the utmost care things can be changed. People’s lives can
be made better, safer and their futures brighter. But as I watched those
protesting and marching in Washington DC and other cities across our country I
asked myself these questions, “What if each person who was marching right now,
was back in their own community using their time and money they spent to go
march and instead were using it to help those who are oppressed, lonely,
hungry, homeless, abused or set aside? What would our county look like if each
citizen, neighborhood and community, reached out to help those who were in need
by giving of their time, resources, talents and money, instead of spending
their time and money to march or protest?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Instead of
carrying a sign what if we carried a meal to the house down the street where
the lonely widow or widower lives or to the frazzled new parents who haven’t
been able to sleep because of a colicky baby or to the family whose mother is
battling cancer? Or maybe instead of carrying a sign we carried a hammer or
screwdriver and helped build a home? Or maybe we picked up a pen and wrote our
local, state and national leaders? Instead of standing outdoors listening to
celebrities what if we sat down and listened to the grief stricken neighbor,
veteran, single parent or the person who is of a different race, religion or
country? Or maybe we went to the local nursing home and offered companionship
to a resident? Instead of marching down the street what if we marched over to the
school and helped a child learn how to read or to be a mentor to a troubled
teen? Instead of wearing funny hats what if we gave our extra hats, coats and
gloves to the homeless to help keep them warm? </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Instead of purchasing a meal
after the march, what if we worked at the local soup kitchen, church community
meal or gave food to the food pantry? Instead of staying at a hotel, what if we
volunteered to work at a homeless shelter or group home? Instead of using our
money for gas to travel to the protest, what if we gave that money to a local
or international mission project? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">What if we
loved our neighbor as much as we love ourselves? What if we listened more and
talked less? What if we gave more and received less? What if we reached out
expecting nothing in return? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">What would
our world look like, if we put our differences aside, decided to take action,
worked together and reached out and took care of our neighbors? I believe it
would be a world with hearts filled with compassion, freedom, love and unity. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Blessings,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Jill<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00028145011860010860noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334580972312674921.post-70741231932458718732016-12-01T18:29:00.000-06:002016-12-01T18:29:18.910-06:00Why I'm Wearing a Dress Everyday in December<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-BZwFz6tE1nM/WEDAD7pS9gI/AAAAAAAAAnc/XPiWXuxvFjQysEpP_5MUinD6cgqdNusjACLcB/s1600/dressember%2B1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-BZwFz6tE1nM/WEDAD7pS9gI/AAAAAAAAAnc/XPiWXuxvFjQysEpP_5MUinD6cgqdNusjACLcB/s1600/dressember%2B1.JPG" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".SFUIText"; font-size: 17pt;">In the fall of 2011 I traveled with a few friends to Springfield Missouri for a women's conference. During that time my friends and I laughed, cried, shopped, praised God and heard amazing stories and testimonies. But it was one story that has stayed with me and shook my soul. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: ".SFUIText"; font-size: 17pt;">On the 2nd day of the conference a young woman in her early 30's shared her story of being enslaved into sex trafficking. I have to admit that up until that moment I had never heard that term before. As she shared her story tears formed in my eyes and my stomach began to ache. Her ordeal was horrific. She was 22, had a good job, parents who loved her and many friends. She had just started dating a man who she met while at a nightclub with her friends. He was polite, respectful and had a job. They had been dating for a month when he picked her up at her apartment, went to dinner and then back to his apartment to watch a movie and have a glass of wine. The next thing she remembers is waking up in a warehouse, chained to a pole and stripped of all of her clothing. Her horrific 3 year journey into the sex trafficking trade had begun. She was branded, beaten, drugged, given very little food, transported to various places and given to multiple men through out any given day. Her journey ended when she was able to escape her captors when a door of a warehouse wasn't shut tight and she was able to remove her arms from the chains that bound her.</span><span style="font-family: ".SFUIText"; font-size: 17pt;"> </span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".SFUIText"; font-size: 17pt;">Over the last 5 years I have often thought of that young woman. I can still remember her face and how her voice quivered as she told her story. Over this last year I have attended two events where I heard from public officials here in Siouxland who help rescue those who are enslaved into sex trafficking and also help them find rehabilitation. I also have a friend who travels each year to the city that hosts the Super Bowl and prays with a group the week before the game as another group tries to locate and find those who have been brought in to provide services in the sex trafficking trade. The Super Bowl has the highest amount of individuals who are brought in for prostitution. </span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".SFUIText"; font-size: 17pt;">This year I am teaming up with my friend Jen and a few other women for Dressember. Dressember is a grass roots event that helps to highlight and bring awareness of those who have been and are enslaved into sex trafficking. The mission of the Dressember Foundation is:</span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".SFUIText"; font-size: 17pt;">DRESSEMBER IS FREEDOM-- THAT EVERY WOMAN HAS THE RIGHT TO LIVE A VIBRANT AND AUTONOMOUS LIFE.</span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".SFUIText"; font-size: 17pt;">For the next 31 days of December I will be wearing a dress each day while raising money to help those who have been rescued from slavery, sexual exploitation, and other forms of violent oppression. If you would like to donate please go to my page</span><span class="s2" style="color: #e4af0a; font-family: ".SFUIText"; font-size: 17pt;"><span class="Object" id="OBJ_PREFIX_DWT90_com_zimbra_url" style="color: darkblue; cursor: pointer;"><a href="https://support.dressemberfoundation.org/fundraiser/857479" style="color: darkblue; cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">https://support.dressemberfoundation.org/fundraiser/857479</a></span></span><span class="s1" style="font-family: ".SFUIText"; font-size: 17pt;">. </span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".SFUIText"; font-size: 17pt;">Or for more information go to</span><span class="s2" style="color: #e4af0a; font-family: ".SFUIText"; font-size: 17pt;"><span class="Object" id="OBJ_PREFIX_DWT91_com_zimbra_url" style="color: darkblue; cursor: pointer;"><a href="http://www.dressember.org/" style="color: darkblue; cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">www.dressember.org</a></span></span><span class="s1" style="font-family: ".SFUIText"; font-size: 17pt;">. </span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".SFUIText"; font-size: 17pt;">You can also read Amy Breitmann's blog on why she is participating in Dressember this year.</span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".SFUIText"; font-size: 17pt;"><span class="Object" id="OBJ_PREFIX_DWT92_com_zimbra_url" style="color: darkblue; cursor: pointer;"><a href="http://belovedinbluejeans.com/2016/11/30/why-im-wearing-a-dress-every-day-in-December/" style="color: darkblue; cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">http://belovedinbluejeans.com/2016/11/30/why-im-wearing-a-dress-every-day-in-December/</a></span></span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".SFUIText"; font-size: 17pt;">If you are unable to give financially I ask that you take time each day to pray for those who are enslaved that they too will be rescued.</span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".SFUIText"; font-size: 17pt;">Blessings,</span></div>
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<span class="s1" style="font-family: ".SFUIText"; font-size: 17pt;">Jill</span></div>
Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00028145011860010860noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334580972312674921.post-18232553016187742192016-10-01T09:10:00.001-05:002016-10-01T09:10:40.827-05:00Finding Beauty in the Chaos<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">If your joining me through the 31 Days, welcome! I'm so happy you are joining me on the journey of Finding Beauty in the Chaos. </span><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">This past year has left me weary and broken. My husband was diagnosed with heart failure on November 1, 2015, my beloved fur baby Libby (our black lab of 15 years) passed away in January 2016, my call as a pastor at a small church and my position as Minister of Adult Ministry at a larger church left me overwhelmed and exhausted, and my mother-in-law was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer in August 2016.</span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">As you can see there has been more chaos then peace and because of that I have been dealing with emotional, mental and physical challenges. </span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Through prayer and meditation I realized I needed to find beauty in the everyday to help handle the chaos that darkness the corners of my life. For the next 31 days I will be posting pictures and posts regarding the beauty that God creates and blesses each one of us with when we are willing to seek it. </span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Blessings,</span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Jill</span></div>Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00028145011860010860noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334580972312674921.post-52620964985555714562016-06-22T08:59:00.001-05:002016-06-22T09:03:26.790-05:0031 Years<div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue light" , , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: large;">31 years ago two starry eyed kids walked down the aisle to join hands, hearts and families. The church was full, fans were blowing, windows open and the pink rose covered bulletins were used by guests to fan themselves as there was no air conditioning in the sanctuary. Sweat dropped from the grooms forehead as the brides stomache fluttered with butterflies. One of the soloists sang off key, the flower girl cried, and the unity candle flame crackled as the two exchanged rings, said their vows and sealed it all with a kiss. They had no idea what was ahead of them as they walked back down the aisle as the organist played the wedding march and guests clapped and smiled. What they did know was that they loved each other and with very little money in their pockets, love would have to see them through. As each year passed their love grew as they were blessed with three children, furry friends, a home, new jobs, memorable trips to family cabins, holidays and lots of laughter. And some years their love was tested and strengthened as they faced job changes, financial struggles, deaths, calls from teachers, broken curfews, dinner time arguments, bedtime battles, slammed doors and hurtful words. And throughout it all love remained the consistent piece in their lives. Love made sure that compliments were said, apologies given, forgiveness accepted, compromise and compassion exchanged, support and encouragement lifted, kisses and hugs shared, and time spent being silly, laughing, working and unconditional love. And as the years continue to pass and the children have grown into adults, grandchildren have blessed their lives, gray hairs and wrinkles have appeared and health issues have surfaced, their hope in the future, their faith in each other and in God and their love continues to grow each day as they walk hand in hand in this journey of life together. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Happy anniversary Dave! I love you!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." 1 Corinthians 13:13.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Blessings,</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Jill</span></div>
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Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00028145011860010860noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334580972312674921.post-60370564522644569682016-05-31T17:26:00.001-05:002016-05-31T17:28:53.371-05:00Hello Summer!<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); font-size: large;">This past year has brought me to my knees more days then not. It's been a tough one. Not only because my husband was diagnosed with heart failure in November, but I literally found myself by May, burned out and wanting to quit ministry altogether. The demands and obligations from both churches I work at took its toll on this girl. This past month I've been doing a lot of soul searching and what I realized so far is that a part of me feels empty, depleted. I've had this nagging feeling that there is something more for me but it is just beyond my reach. It's there but I can't make it out clearly to see it. It's as if I'm surrounded by a fog. I guess feeling overwhelmed and tired can do that to a person. But it's more than that. This month while I have cried and begged God to show me what it is I need to do, he has held me and whispered to my heart, "Slow down. Breathe. Be still. Listen. Pick up that pen and write. Be creative. And you will discover joy, passion and peace once again." Wise words for my broken spirit.<br />And because God is the great physician, I'm going to follow his orders. This summer I'm going off of Facebook, turning off the T.V, spending time on my deck and front porch, working in my garden, exploring my neighborhood, going for walks and bike rides, playing with my grandson, enjoying family, reading books and writing.<br />My hope is that during these next three months I will begin to discover a little more of who I am and where God is calling me.<br />I hope you'll join me as I seek God, joy, peace and summertime moments.<br />You're invited to join me on Instagram as I capture my summer through pictures.<br />Blessings,<br />Jill</span>Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00028145011860010860noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334580972312674921.post-72086535225542911352015-02-17T20:28:00.000-06:002015-02-17T20:28:58.215-06:00Giving Up or Giving To?<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Lent begins
tomorrow with the observance of Ash Wednesday. The journey of Lent leads us to
the joyful expectation of Jesus’ Resurrection on Easter morning. Lent began as
a period of fasting and preparation for baptism by converts and then became a
time for penance by all Christians. Today many around the world will give
something up for Lent as a way of fasting. And I understand the principle of
giving something up but if we are to follow in Jesus’ footsteps then shouldn't we also give something in return? When Jesus died on the cross he sacrificed
his life so that we could have the forgiveness of sins and eternal life in
heaven. Jesus gave his life to give us life. So if we just give up something, do
we really understand the way to the cross?</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">As I've been
praying about what I should do for Lent, God showed me something different.
Instead of just giving something up, I’m going to give. My word for 2015 is
“time” and I’m trying to incorporate it into every aspect of this year,
including Lent. But what does that look like? To give time, use time?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Maybe it’s helping someone in need, volunteering at the food pantry, collecting items
to give to one of our UM missions, meditating on God’s word, knitting a prayer
shawl, taking a prayer walk each day and surrounding myself with God’s
beautiful creation, writing a note of encouragement to a family member, friend
or parishioner each day or reading the words of a Christian writer or
theologian to broaden my faith? <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">As I look
over this list it occurs to me that I will be giving up my time in one way or
another to do something meaningful. To give up watching T.V. or social media is
a way of fasting, but what will you be doing instead? What will you use that
time for? When you give up a certain food, what will you do if you’re not
eating it? Will you just eat something else? If I give up coffee will I just drink
tea? If I give up T.V. will I just turn to my phone or computer? If I give up Facebook will I just spend time
on Twitter, Pinterest or Instagram?</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I believe
that when we give something up for Lent we should give something in return.
When a person fasts they are to spend that time they would have been eating a
meal and instead spend it in prayer. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I like what
God is leading me to do. Jesus didn't just die on the cross; he gave his life
to give us life. He died so that we could be saved. He died so that each time
we sin, we have the choice to ask God for forgiveness and in return God washes
us clean with the blood of Christ.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">That is what
Lent is about. It’s preparing ourselves for what Jesus did for us so that we
can give of ourselves to others. We are called to walk this journey of Lent
following in Jesus footsteps.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Will you be
giving up or giving to?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Blessings,</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><i><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Jill</span></i></span></div>
Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00028145011860010860noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334580972312674921.post-78298143890022303282015-02-11T16:31:00.001-06:002015-02-11T16:31:11.912-06:00Are we ready?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-pqDJ-KAHTRY/VNvWyz-XMZI/AAAAAAAAANU/IFMXVlO3Lxg/s1600/rustin.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-pqDJ-KAHTRY/VNvWyz-XMZI/AAAAAAAAANU/IFMXVlO3Lxg/s1600/rustin.jpg" height="199" width="200" /></a></div>
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The wind moves outside my window as afternoon begins to turn
to evening. I sit with paper, pen and hot tea and think of the future. There is
a shift in my being and I know it is the work of the Spirit. It happened
this past Sunday in the middle of worship, a feeling of peace, belonging,
moving forward in this great plan that God has for us. There was nothing out of
the ordinary during worship, but yet a feeling of electricity flowed throughout
the sanctuary. Tears began to form in the depths of my eyes as my message came
to a close. It wasn't the words that brought the tears but a feeling came over
me that a shift in the future of the church had taken place; a rebirth, a
restart, a new direction? Only God holds the answer that I pray he will begin
to share. It’s a wonderful feeling that I hope doesn't end but continues to
grow and blossom. This church isn't dead but has been resurrected and now walks
a path of new life in a world where so many have turned their backs on God and
the church. Could Rustin Ave. UMC be the new church? With its old stone facade,
it’s stained glass windows, peeling paint and echoes of children running the
halls between Sunday School and worship, could this be the place that God has
chosen to do something more, something extraordinary? As Christians we are all
called to continue the work of Jesus. To be the hands and feet of the one who
taught, healed and died for our sins. We spend our time looking at the numbers
in the pews to define if we are a thriving church, but numbers are only fun if
the pews are full. The numbers that truly count are those who have been touched
by Jesus outside these church walls as we live out our call as disciples. As we
drop our nets and leave the comfort of our sanctuary and take the sometimes
uncomfortable steps outside the doors of the church, are we ready to do the work
that Jesus has called us to do? Are we ready to be the hands and feet of Jesus?
Are we ready to meet the people where they are, to begin those conversations with
strangers; those who are lost or discouraged, hungry or homeless, hurt or sick?
Are we ready to be the new church?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Blessings,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Jill</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00028145011860010860noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334580972312674921.post-62093427062957997912014-12-31T13:43:00.001-06:002014-12-31T13:51:10.571-06:00A New Word for a New Year<h2>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-9S6rGPDWDF4/VKRPb-qoTgI/AAAAAAAAAKo/ctXd6zfo7pY/s1600/time%2Bpendant.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-9S6rGPDWDF4/VKRPb-qoTgI/AAAAAAAAAKo/ctXd6zfo7pY/s1600/time%2Bpendant.JPG" height="200" width="150" /></a></div>
A New Word for a New Year<o:p></o:p></h2>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">As I sit here at my computer
on this last day of 2014, I’m looking back over all that it has brought to my
life. There have been some incredible highs and some difficult lows. But thankfully
throughout the year there has been more joy than sorrow.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">In 2014 God placed upon my
heart the word “intentional” as my word for the year. You see, I gave up making
resolutions a few years ago and instead I choose a word that I believe I need
to focus on. On January 1, 2014 I wrote this: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">This year I pray that God will help me to become more intentional in my
life journey. To be more intentional in my relationships with family and friends,
in how I spend my time (physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually), in
my ministry and in my time spent with my heavenly Father (in scripture,
meditation and prayer).</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><o:p></o:p></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Over all I believe I was intentional in many areas of my life. Relationships that were
broken at the beginning of the year are now healed or in the process of healing
and I am so grateful for that. My work in ministry at Rustin Ave. UMC turned
from being assigned as pulpit supply to being their appointed pastor and with
that brought new challenges; leading confirmation and developing new opportunities
for worship. At Grace UMC, I took off my Administrative Secretary hat that I
had worn for 11 years and became the Minister of Small Group Ministry, a new
position at the church developing small group opportunities. I was intentional
about my health as I began exercising and eating healthier. I had a
mammogram, a physical and dental work done that I had put off for a few years. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 6pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">But there were those areas that I
was not intentional. Spending time with family, friends and God fell short. Reading and writing for pleasure were non-existent. And
as I thought about this and why it happened I came up with the same excuse I
used all year long. I was so busy I just didn’t have the time. Unfortunately, I
did seem to have the time to watch reality T.V. shows, scroll Facebook, Twitter
and Instagram. It’s so easy to say I don’t have the time but in reality I just
didn’t use my time wisely. It’s easy to make excuses and pretend that ministry
and work have consumed all my time, but that isn’t the true reality of my life.
The reality is I didn’t make the time, and because of that God has placed upon
my heart the word “time” as my word for 2015.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 6pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Time; we can use it, make it,
take it, gain it and lose it. We either want it to slow down or speed up. I
love the line from the movie Steel Magnolias where Truvy says to Shelby, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Honey, time marches on and eventually you
realize it is marchin’ across your face.”</i> How true! The wrinkles around my
eyes prove it. And then there is this saying, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Take time to stop and smell the roses.”</i> And that is also true. But
this year I don’t want to just stop and smell the roses I want to plant,
nurture, prune, water and enjoy the roses. Using my time, planting new ideas,
cultivating relationships, nurturing growth, pruning away the senseless &
useless and enjoying the bounty of time well spent, is what I pray for this New
Year.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 6pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Being overwhelmed is no excuse
to procrastinate and lose myself watching T.V. or scanning the internet. It
means taking the time to plan, prepare and pray so that I will have the time to
enjoy this life and all that it has to offer.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 6pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">As 2014 comes to a close and
2015 begins, I pray that God will help me to use my time wisely, efficiently
and intentionally so that this year may be filled with less anxiety and stress
and be filled with more joy and happiness and time spent in the presence of the
One who makes all things possible. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 6pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And I pray that each of you
have a year filled with God’s blessings. That time will not slip away from you
but that you will grasp it and live your life to the fullest. May 2015 bring to
you a year filled with love, joy, laughter, and peace.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 6pt;">
<span class="text"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="background: white; color: black; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">For everything there is a season,</span></span></i></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black;"><br style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; word-spacing: 0px;" /><span style="font-family: Calibri;">
</span></span></i><span class="indent-1-breaks"><span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="background: white; color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; word-spacing: 0px;"> </span></span></i><span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;"></span><span class="text"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="background: white; color: black; font-size: 12pt;">a time for every activity under heaven.</span></i></span></span></span></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black;"><br style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; word-spacing: 0px;" /><span style="font-family: Calibri;">
</span></span></i><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span class="text"><b><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><sup style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="background: white; color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><span id="en-NLT-17338" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; word-spacing: 0px;">2 </span></span></sup></i></b></span><span class="text"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="background: white; color: black; font-size: 12pt;">A time to be born and a time to die.</span></i></span></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black;"><br style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; word-spacing: 0px;" /><span style="font-family: Calibri;">
</span></span></i><span class="indent-1-breaks"><span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="background: white; color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; word-spacing: 0px;"> </span></span></i><span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;"></span><span class="text"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="background: white; color: black; font-size: 12pt;">A time to plant and a time to harvest.</span></i></span></span></span></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black;"><br style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; word-spacing: 0px;" /><span style="font-family: Calibri;">
</span></span></i><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span class="text"><b><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><sup style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="background: white; color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><span id="en-NLT-17339" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; word-spacing: 0px;">3 </span></span></sup></i></b></span><span class="text"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="background: white; color: black; font-size: 12pt;">A time to kill and a time to heal.</span></i></span></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black;"><br style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; word-spacing: 0px;" /><span style="font-family: Calibri;">
</span></span></i><span class="indent-1-breaks"><span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="background: white; color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; word-spacing: 0px;"> </span></span></i><span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;"></span><span class="text"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="background: white; color: black; font-size: 12pt;">A time to tear down and a time to build up.</span></i></span></span></span></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black;"><br style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; word-spacing: 0px;" /><span style="font-family: Calibri;">
</span></span></i><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span class="text"><b><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><sup style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="background: white; color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><span id="en-NLT-17340" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; word-spacing: 0px;">4 </span></span></sup></i></b></span><span class="text"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="background: white; color: black; font-size: 12pt;">A time to cry and a time to laugh.</span></i></span></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black;"><br style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; word-spacing: 0px;" /><span style="font-family: Calibri;">
</span></span></i><span class="indent-1-breaks"><span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="background: white; color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; word-spacing: 0px;"> </span></span></i><span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;"></span><span class="text"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="background: white; color: black; font-size: 12pt;">A time to grieve and a time to dance.</span></i></span></span></span></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black;"><br style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; word-spacing: 0px;" /><span style="font-family: Calibri;">
</span></span></i><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span class="text"><b><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><sup style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="background: white; color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><span id="en-NLT-17341" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; word-spacing: 0px;">5 </span></span></sup></i></b></span><span class="text"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="background: white; color: black; font-size: 12pt;">A time to scatter stones and a time to gather
stones.</span></i></span></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black;"><br style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; word-spacing: 0px;" /><span style="font-family: Calibri;">
</span></span></i><span class="indent-1-breaks"><span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="background: white; color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; word-spacing: 0px;"> </span></span></i><span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;"></span><span class="text"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="background: white; color: black; font-size: 12pt;">A time to embrace and a time to turn away.</span></i></span></span></span></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black;"><br style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; word-spacing: 0px;" /><span style="font-family: Calibri;">
</span></span></i><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span class="text"><b><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><sup style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="background: white; color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><span id="en-NLT-17342" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; word-spacing: 0px;">6 </span></span></sup></i></b></span><span class="text"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="background: white; color: black; font-size: 12pt;">A time to search and a time to quit searching.</span></i></span></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black;"><br style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; word-spacing: 0px;" /><span style="font-family: Calibri;">
</span></span></i><span class="indent-1-breaks"><span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="background: white; color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; word-spacing: 0px;"> </span></span></i><span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;"></span><span class="text"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="background: white; color: black; font-size: 12pt;">A time to keep and a time to throw away.</span></i></span></span></span></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black;"><br style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; word-spacing: 0px;" /><span style="font-family: Calibri;">
</span></span></i><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span class="text"><b><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><sup style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="background: white; color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><span id="en-NLT-17343" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; word-spacing: 0px;">7 </span></span></sup></i></b></span><span class="text"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="background: white; color: black; font-size: 12pt;">A time to tear and a time to mend.</span></i></span></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black;"><br style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; word-spacing: 0px;" /><span style="font-family: Calibri;">
</span></span></i><span class="indent-1-breaks"><span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="background: white; color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; word-spacing: 0px;"> </span></span></i><span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;"></span><span class="text"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="background: white; color: black; font-size: 12pt;">A time to be quiet and a time to speak.</span></i></span></span></span></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black;"><br style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; word-spacing: 0px;" /><span style="font-family: Calibri;">
</span></span></i><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span class="text"><b><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><sup style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="background: white; color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><span id="en-NLT-17344" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; word-spacing: 0px;">8 </span></span></sup></i></b></span><span class="text"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="background: white; color: black; font-size: 12pt;">A time to love and a time to hate.</span></i></span></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black;"><br style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; word-spacing: 0px;" /><span style="font-family: Calibri;">
</span></span></i><span class="indent-1-breaks"><span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="background: white; color: black; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; word-spacing: 0px;"> </span></span></i><span style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;"></span><span class="text"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="background: white; color: black; font-size: 12pt;">A time for war and a time for peace.</span></i></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">
(Ecclesiastes 3:1-8)<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span class="text"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="background: white; color: black; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Blessings & Happy New
Year!<o:p></o:p></span></span></i></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span class="text"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="background: white; color: black; font-size: 12pt;">Jill</span></i></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><o:p></o:p></i></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;">F</span></o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;">YI - To help remind myself of my 2015 word “time”, I purchased a
necklace that I will wear (pictured above) from <a href="http://kraftykash.net/">Kashoan Ward</a> of Krafty Kash. I hope you will
check out her beautiful line of handmade jewelry at KraftyKash.net,
info@KraftyKash.com, or @KraftyKash on Pinterest, Twitter, Facebook or Instagram.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>
Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00028145011860010860noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334580972312674921.post-81762714715646088222014-02-24T16:55:00.002-06:002014-02-24T16:55:37.949-06:00You're Not a Writer!
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I can feel
the sting as if it were yesterday, those words that cut deep down into my soul.
“You’re not a writer and you shouldn’t even think of yourself as a writer.” I
was 18, unable to utter a single word. I just stood there as he placed the
paper back into my hands with an F in red pencil written at the top. I’ll never
forget that feeling, the feeling of what little self-esteem I had being sucked
out and thrown in the trash can. <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Just one
year earlier as a senior in high school, my Comp II teacher had given me an A
for the class and had submitted one of my papers to a young writer’s
publication. I was so proud and confident of myself and excited about even being
considered a writer. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I had always
loved to write stories, poems and my thoughts down on paper. So having a paper
submitted and my teacher acknowledging that I was good enough gave my confidence
the boost it needed.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">How did I go
from excitement to humiliation?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">It was a
class that the college I attended required all freshmen to take. The class was
called “Liberal Arts” and was led by a panel of 6-8 professors from different
departments of the college. Each professor then was over a group of students.
They would mentor and grade the papers and exams for their particular group. <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Various
topics were discussed in class. There was a lot of reading and many papers that
were written. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The group of
students that I was placed in was led by a professor from the Science
department, a chemistry professor. He was arrogant and behaved as if it was a
complete waste of his time to be involved with the class. <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I had worked
so hard on that paper and because it was college I felt that I deserved a B or at the least a C on it.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I walked
away with tears in my eyes. The words playing over and over in my head, “You’re
not a writer.” My mom worked at the college in the business office and so I
walked over to see her. I needed her words of assurance and asked her to read
my paper. She read it and told me to go see one of the English professors to get
their opinion. <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The next day
I mustered up the courage and walked into the English department and asked to
see a professor. The professor I spoke to was also a member of the panel from
the class. I explained to her the situation and asked if she would read my
paper, knowing that it wouldn’t get the grade changed but I needed to know if
it was true, that I had no talent for writing.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">She read the
paper, looked at me and told me that I was talented. That the grade I received
was in no way equal to the grade I deserved. She couldn’t change the grade but
she did change me to another group. <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">That was 30
years ago and the pain of that moment is still embedded in my soul. I’ve never
been able to let go of those words that pierced me so deeply. A little voice
still speaks, “You’re not a writer.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Words fill
my mind and they float around like snow in a shaken snow globe just wanting to
be released. I jot down thoughts and reflections in journals but when I sit
down and place my hands above the keyboard of my computer that little voice
begins to speak, “You’re not a writer” and I pull my hands away. <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Fear grips
me and I’m 18 again and the feeling of self-doubt comes over me. I’m not good
enough. I’m not smart enough. I’m not talented enough. I’m not a writer. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A few years
ago I went to God seeking answers to questions that I had regarding my life. It
was an afternoon that I found myself sitting next to a lake and opening up my
mind and soul to hear God speak to me. He did and during that conversation God
said something that I didn’t quite understand. God told me to write. He told me
to write and write and write and that many people would read my words. <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I had no
idea what he meant. Write what? Did he want me to write a book, devotions, letters,
articles…? Over the next few weeks I did try to write but every time I would
sit down I would hear those old familiar words, “You’re not a writer” and I
would stop.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The dream of
being a writer never left me. I tucked it deep down inside where only I knew
where it was. <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Last year I
attended the <a href="http://www.refreshmyheartconference.com/">Refresh My Heart Conference</a> and was blessed to share a room with
<a href="http://www.michellederusha.com/">Michelle DeRusha</a> and <a href="http://www.jensandbulte.com/">Jen Sandbulte</a>. Michelle was in the process of writing a
book and I sat in that room listening to her talk, about agents, publishers and
the highs and lows of writing. It was exciting and I hung on every word she
spoke. The dream I had of writing began to resurface.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">And this past
summer during lunch with my best friend from high school, who was back for our
class reunion, I shared with her that one of my dreams is that someday I would
love to write a book, a dream that I have only shared with my husband and
couple of other people.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Last week as
I was writing my sermon on the topic of loving your enemies, I asked myself if
I had any enemies. The person, who came to mind, was the professor who gave me
that F, 30 years ago. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Why is it
that I have allowed the words of a professor to speak louder to me then the
words of God? <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The words
from the One who created me, who gave me my gifts, my calling, who loves me unconditionally,
are the words I push away. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Why do we
allow others to shatter our dreams when the dreams we have are God’s dreams for
us?<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Over 30
years I have hung on to the dream of being a writer. I’ve purchased more pretty
journals and notebooks then I can count. Opening them up, staring at the blank
pages and then closing them shut. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Too afraid
to put pen to paper, that what I would write someone would read. And when I
would finally write I would rip out the pages, tear them in half and throw them
in the trash. Each time hearing the words, “You’re not a writer.”<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Those words
have haunted me for 30 years while fear grips. Fear of criticism, rejection and
fear of it being true. And all the while God continues to say, “Write your
words. Tell your story.” <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The only way
to conquer the fear is to look it straight in the face, stand before it and
claim victory, by picking up a pen, writing down words and leaving the pages in
the book.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">So I take my
red leather journal off the shelf, open the cover, take my pen and begin to
write. Writing the words that have been filling my mind as my pen flows across
the page like a skater on ice, making lines and curves as the letters form words.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I may never
write a book but I will continue to keep the dream alive.</span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">And those words
that stung my soul 30 years ago have begun to fade away and grow quiet as </span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">God
smiles and says to me, “You’re a writer.”</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Blessings,</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">JIll<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00028145011860010860noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334580972312674921.post-23509053115252819832014-02-17T11:36:00.001-06:002014-02-17T11:36:03.307-06:00Dare to Dream
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A few weeks
ago, I attended the <a href="http://compelconference.org/">Compel Conference</a> and the speaker was <a href="http://www.deidrariggs.com/">Deidra Riggs</a>. She
spoke on the topic “Dare to Dream”. During the Saturday morning worship and prayer
time, I wrote this in my journal.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Do
I dare to dream? Yes, God says. Sit with me and let us dream. Dream together.
Seeking and searching, where and when. Do I dare to dream for more than I
deserve? Yes, God says. Sit and let us dream. The world is yours, I created it
for you. To live, and breath, to walk and dance. My child you are mine. Let me
show you all that I have planned for you. As high as the mountains, as wide as
the seas, is the expanse of your dreams. Dare to dream with me and I will show
you this beautiful, wonderful world, in the faces and hearts of my people.
Dream”<o:p></o:p></i></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“<span class="text">Ask me and I will
tell you remarkable secrets you do not know about things to come.</span>” </span></i><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Jeremiah 33:3<span class="text"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><o:p></o:p></i></span></span></span></div>
<span class="text"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I’ve always been a day dreamer. I love spending time in silence with my mind
wandering. It's where I find myself dreaming. Pondering the past but also dreaming
of the future. I turn 49 in a month and I know for some it would seem like
this is the last year that I will want to celebrate my birthday. You know that big “5-0”
comes next year and supposedly it means that I will then be old. Too old to do
much of anything. Turn out the lights the parties over. </span></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span class="text"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">But for me that’s not how I see it. God has done so many amazing,
wonderful things in my life in the last 10 years that I cannot wait to see what
He will do in the next 50 years. <o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<span class="text"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">So I sit and I dream with God. Dream of what God will show me, where God
will take me and how God will use me. Dream of the people I will meet, the
places I will go and the path I will walk. To dream is to live, to breathe, to
be the person who God has made me to be. <o:p></o:p></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span class="text"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“Take delight in the </span></i></span><span class="small-caps"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-variant: small-caps; line-height: 115%;">Lord</span></i></span><span class="text"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">,</span> and he will give you your heart’s desires” </i></span><span class="text"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Psalm 37:4<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<span class="text"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Where will this life take me? What dreams will come true? <o:p></o:p></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span class="text"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">“For I know the plans I have for
you,” says the </span></i></span><span class="small-caps"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-variant: small-caps; line-height: 115%;">Lord</span></i></span><span class="text"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you
a future and a hope.</span>” </i></span><span class="text"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Jeremiah 29:11<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<span class="text"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Dreaming, trusting, believing & hoping. Spending time with the One
who created me and the One who dreams with me.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span class="text"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Blessings,<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<span class="text"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Jill</span></span></i></span>Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00028145011860010860noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334580972312674921.post-70925370123433510992014-01-01T15:56:00.000-06:002014-01-01T21:25:48.494-06:00New Year New Word<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-r6bAy8m-eMs/UsSOA1idb6I/AAAAAAAAAIw/r-tqHSoVsJQ/s1600/jill7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="212" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-r6bAy8m-eMs/UsSOA1idb6I/AAAAAAAAAIw/r-tqHSoVsJQ/s320/jill7.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">2013 Christmas Family Photo</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<h2>
Happy New Year!</h2>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I’m not one
for New Year’s resolutions. It seems that every year that I would make a list
of resolutions, I would find myself feeling like a failure by the 2<span style="font-size: small;"><sup>nd</sup>
week of January. In 2007 I decided to forego the resolutions and began picking
a word for the year, something that I could carry with me as I
journeyed throughout the year. Instead of looking at everything that I thought
I needed to improve or concentrating only on the negative things about myself,
I began to see the positive aspects of who I was and started to concentrate on
how God was continually molding me and providing opportunities for growth. <o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">In 2013 God
placed upon my heart the word, “simplicity”. After a chaotic 2012 I was
relieved that “simplicity” was my word! On January 1, 2013 I wrote:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 12pt;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">“My word for 2013 is “Simplicity”. The
word simplicity brings calmness to my spirit that I deeply need. </span></i></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">I
realized after a year filled with new responsibilities, traveling back and
forth to see my grandson for 5 months, the everyday drama and challenges that
my own choices and decisions brought to my life and those that other people
brought to my life, I am ready for a little more simple and a lot less hectic. </span></i></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">So
this year I am searching, beckoning, needing and embracing a more simple way of
life… Turning to him to reveal to me the simple pleasures, blessings, changes
and growth opportunities that may bring to me simplicity.”<o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I was so
excited and relieved that 2013 would be surrounded by simplicity.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">As I
turned my calendar to December I started to think about what my word for 2014
would be and that’s when I began looking back over this last year and my word “simplicity”.
I laughed out loud at how I had imagined in January of 2013 that it would be a year
filled with simplicity. In all honesty it was anything but simple. At the end
of January our granddaughter Adalyn was born 5 weeks early and stayed in the NNICU
for 3 weeks, we traveled out to see our son and his family 5 times (a 7 hour
trip), our grandson Jackson had open heart surgery, we put on a benefit pancake
breakfast, silent auction & bake sale for Jackson and his family, I became
the Pastor at Rustin Ave. UMC along with maintaining my positions at Grace UMC as
part time Admin Secretary and Director of Women’s Ministry, and most of my time
was spent preparing sermons, visiting parishioners, church meetings, women’s
events and Bible studies. Not as simple as I had imagined.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">But when
I really examined this last year I realized that although it wasn’t a simple
year, God had shown me ways to face challenges in a more simple way. Instead of
freaking out when something went wrong, I took a deep breath, accessed the
situation and moved forward. Relationships that brought chaos and stress into
my life I walked away from, not completely closing the door on them but leaving
the door cracked. My home became my sanctuary and I stopped hanging on to
things that I didn’t like or enjoyed any longer. I breathed more, laughed more
and loved more. And I learned to let a lot of things go. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">My year
may not have been simple, but God showed me the simplicity within it and myself
and for that I am grateful.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">As I
started to think and pray on what word God would place on my heart for 2014, a
word started to come to mind. Over and over I would hear it or read it. It came
up everywhere in my daily walk. My word for 2014 is “Intentional”. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">With all
of the responsibilities with my ministry and work I have sometimes felt
overwhelmed in wanting to be all that I can, everywhere I need to be and for everyone
at all times, but not knowing how to do it all. And because of this I have
neglected time spent with family, friends, taking care of myself and time with God.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">This year
I pray that God will help me to become more intentional in my life journey. To
be more intentional in my relationships with family and friends, in how I spend
my time (physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually), in my ministry and
in my time spent with my heavenly Father (in scripture, meditation and prayer).
<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">So
as we begin 2014, I pray that each of you have a year filled with God’s
blessings. That your life will be filled with more love, joy, laughter,
courage, strength, growth and peace.</span><span style="font-family: "Georgia","serif"; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<em><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Blessings,<o:p></o:p></span></em></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<em><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">
Jill</span></em></div>
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
</div>
Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00028145011860010860noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334580972312674921.post-92160701132571828202013-10-29T17:10:00.000-05:002013-10-29T17:10:17.005-05:00Life is a Journey
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">On the wall
of my office above my desk are these seven words, “Every journey begins with a
single step”. Those words have been my mantra for many years. As a child who
was extremely shy, I knew and understood that to go somewhere or to do something
meant that I had to take that first step. Most of those first steps were
terrifying but over the years and after many steps the fear has been replaced
with wonder and excitement. <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">If I were to
have just stayed in one place and would have never take any of those first
steps I wouldn’t be where I am today. I wouldn’t have experienced some of the most
wonderful moments in my life or my ministry.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Life is full
of journeys. Some are unforgettable and some we would like to forget, but all
began with a single step.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">When our
children were small we purchased a pop-up camper. I had grown up camping with
my family in a pop-up camper and my husband had been a Boy Scout and had tent
camped. We both loved camping and we wanted to share the experience with our
children. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">On our first
camping trip we went to Ponca State Park. We were so excited! We got to the
campground, unpacked, got settled in… and it started to rain. It rained the
entire weekend. There isn’t much room to move around in a pop up camper and
when it’s raining it becomes claustrophobic. Our weekend was miserable, wet and
not a whole lot of fun. And to make matters worse I got sick and so did one of the
kids.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Another trip
we took as a family was to New York City. The kids and I had never been to New
York so my husband and I planned a trip. The five of us flew to New York City
for Thanksgiving. We went to the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade, the Today
Show, Central Park (and had a hot dog), FAO Schwartz, looked at all of the Christmas
windows, had a great slice of New York pizza, went to Grand Central Station, the Empire
State building and much more. It was an unforgettable vacation.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Most people
looking at these two distinctively different trips would assume that the camping
trip would be a trip we would want to completely forget and the New York trip
would be the trip we would want to fully remember.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes, the trip to New York was unbelievable but
there is a part of it I would like to forget. On the day that we were to fly
home our flight was delayed several hours and we waited inside LaGuardia
Airport… ALL DAY LONG! When we finally were cleared to leave we were told that
we would be staying the night in Detroit Michigan. The problem? Our luggage
continued on to Kansas City. The only clean clothes that we had were the “I
love NY” t-shirts we had purchased and had put in my carry-on bag. No clean
undergarments or clothes. We were tired, hungry and just wanted to be at home.
When we got to Kansas City we found our luggage and then had to drive the long
trip home and with a sick child. <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The camping
trip although it seems was miserable had moments I never want to forget.
Laughing until I cried, sharing stories, snuggling with my kids and having an
entire weekend without any distractions, such as; the T.V., friends, phone or
other electronics.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">One was
filled with bright lights and the other with rain clouds, one with hundreds of
people and the other with five. Each with its own memories both good and bad,
but I definitely would never have wanted to miss either one.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">If we stay
in one place and never take that first step, we miss out on so much. If we
believe that every step will lead us on perfect journeys then we will be sorely
disappointed. The journeys we take will be filled with moments that will
either be good, bad, beautiful, ugly, precious, crazy, exhilarating, devastating,
incredible or traumatic, and the list goes on and on. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Life is
meant to be lived. Life is meant to be experienced. <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Every
journey begins with a single step. Take that step and see where the journey
leads you.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span class="text"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><sup><span style="font-size: 12pt;">“</span></sup></i></span><span class="text"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Then they
said, “Ask God whether or not our journey will be successful.”</span> <sup><span style="font-size: x-small;"> </span></sup>“Go
in peace,” the priest replied. “For the </i></span><span class="small-caps"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span></i></span><span class="text"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"> is watching
over your journey.”</span>” (Judges 18:5-6 NLT)<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span class="text"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></span></i></span><span class="text"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Blessings,<o:p></o:p></span></span></i></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span class="text"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Jill</span></i></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></span><br />
Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00028145011860010860noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334580972312674921.post-64558580703331985752013-03-28T20:30:00.000-05:002013-03-28T20:30:24.479-05:00When Light Shines Out Of Darkness
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">For a very long
time I have felt God wanting me to share my faith story. This part of my story
is one of the hardest to write about. You see, my daughter is gay. I’m not
sharing this story to change people’s minds. People are going to believe what
they believe. What I hope for is that it will help people to understand the
long and difficult journey that I have been on and that so many other parents
are on. I know for some of you it will be a surprise and for others you may
already know. I may have some who will unfriend me because it makes them
uncomfortable or it may go against what they believe in, and I understand and
respect that. I know that there are those friends and family who are
uncomfortable with it and I respect them too. But it is a part of who are
family is and I wanted to share how I have struggled, what I have learned and how
I have continued to love my daughter through it all. Sharing my story may help
others to not feel so alone or isolated when they have a child, a family member
or a friend who is gay. When my daughter came out, I didn’t know anyone who was
gay. No friends or family members. I had no one to talk to who would understand
what we were going through. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">My daughter
Ashley graduated from high school in May of 2004. She was an honor student who
had many friends and was involved in music & sports. She attended church
weekly with our family and enjoyed Sunday school and youth group. I was so excited
to have her go off to college and have the experience of living away from home
and all that college would bring to her life. I was a very proud mama. <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Halfway
between her first semester we started to notice that something didn’t seem
right. She became distant but when asked if everything was alright she always
answered “yes”. In November while I was at a wake for a family friend, Ashley
called and confided in her dad that she was gay. When I returned home that
evening I found our other daughter crying and my husband in a state of
bewilderment. He told me what she had said and I immediately picked up the
phone and called her. I have to admit I didn’t handle it well. I told her she
was wrong, that there was no way she could be gay. She had dated boys and had
been serious with a young man her senior year. She had shown no signs of being
interested in girls in that way. Where was this coming from? I began to yell
and cry and hung up the phone devastated. In an instant all of the dreams that
I had for her blew up. The dreams of my daughter getting married, walking down
the aisle, having that first dance with her dad and having children all went
away. And fear and shame crept in, the fear and shame of people finding out
that I had a daughter who was gay. There was also the fear for my daughter’s
life. The hate that some people had for those who were gay was scary. At the
time I was the Administrative Secretary at our church. What would people think
and how would they react?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">A few months
before Ashley came out, I had been having lunch with 3 of my friends and we
were talking about the presidential race and how the talk of homosexuality was
one of the big issues. During this conversation I had said to my friends that
if one of my children came to me and told me that they were gay, I would love
them, support them and accept them. It’s amazing how what we say and how we
react can be two different things. <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We were so
stunned and shocked by this revelation and neither myself nor my husband knew
how to handle it. We even told her not to come to a family weekend in
Minneapolis because we didn’t know how to face all of my husband’s family while
carrying this secret. Looking back that was just the first of many times I
would regret our actions. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Right before
the Christmas break we found out that Ashley was failing all of her classes
because she hadn’t been attending them. She had met someone on line who lived
in Tennessee and she had also been experimenting with drugs. My husband drove
to her college, helped her pack up her belongings and brought her home. It was
so awkward and hard. We tried to talk but every time it ended in raised voices
and tears. Four days before Christmas she ran away from home. This was just the
beginning.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">For the
first 24 hours we had no idea where she was. She finally called to let us know
she was in Tennessee. This devastated our family. Her sister and her little
brother didn’t understand and became so angry with her. We all were angry and
hurt. We felt betrayed, abandoned and isolated. It was Christmas and how were
we going to explain why she wasn’t at home. We soon found ourselves letting
family and very close friends know what we were dealing with. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We made it
through the holidays and I tried so very hard to keep everything as normal as
possible. We made the decision to not call her, that if she wanted to talk to
us then she could call. And she did. With an attitude that was defiant, rude
and harsh. She hadn’t been raised to behave like this. She had been such a
sweet, funny, loving, caring and thoughtful person. She had been independent
but not defiant. This was uncharacteristic of her. It was like talking to
someone I didn’t even know. Every time I hung up the phone I would pray to God
that he would change her. I prayed that God would make her see that she wasn’t
gay. That God would change her mind and her heart and bring her home. I prayed
that this was all just a horrible nightmare and that soon I would wake up. Every
waking moment was spent praying to God.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I called her
close friends and even her youth group leader and asked them if they thought
that Ashley was gay or if she had ever confided in them about it. They were
just as shocked as we were. I began looking on the Internet for anything that
could help me understand. I came across a website that was called Exodus or
something like that. It told the story of a young woman who sounded so much
like Ashley. She had come out that she was gay and for 10 years lived a gay
lifestyle. But then she realized that she wasn’t gay and she was once again
living a heterosexual lifestyle and was very happy. I suddenly had hope.
Instead of trying to understand my daughter, I decided I was going to change
her. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">After a few
weeks of living in Tennessee, Ashley called one night to say she wanted to come
home. Her dad and I were so relieved and after getting everything in order we
took off for the very long trip to get her. I had been praying so hard and I
thought that God had finally answered our prayers. I thought that she had
changed her mind and that everything would go back to normal. But I was wrong.
We just began living a “new” normal. We arrived at the apartment she had been
living in and found it in disarray. Everyone had taken off and left her with
the mess. We hauled things to the trash and filled a dumpster, we returned
furniture to the rental store and a cable box and closed up the apartment and
headed out of town. I was so relieved when we finally drove out of that city
and headed home. She slept almost the entire way. She was physically,
emotionally and spiritually drained. She was a broken child.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">My husband
drove our van which was filled with her things and I drove her car. During the
long trip home she started to share with me what had happened. And it was truly
awful. I’m not going to share all that she told me because that it is up to her
if she ever wants to tell her story. What I will share is that they had opened
up credit cards in her name and we would later find that she was thousands of
dollars in debt. They would purchase items and then pawn them for the money. They
had made and sold drugs and she had known a few people that had died due to
overdosing. And she was still gay. I thought for sure after going through
everything that she did, she would see that this lifestyle would only bring her
pain and unhappiness. But I was wrong.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">She came
home and we got her into counseling. But that only lasted a few weeks. She
didn’t think anything was wrong with her and that we just didn’t understand. We
also found that she hadn’t stopped using drugs and the people she was hanging
out with were no good. So we finally told her that if she didn’t stop she would
have to leave and she did. She would eventually ask to come back and we let her
but on the condition that she had 2 strikes left. She used them up within a
couple years. Our relationship was strained and difficult. <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">She would
eventually begin a relationship with a young woman and seemed to be settling
down. She had stopped using drugs and she began to sound like her old self. I
decided to reach out to her and I called her to see if she and her friend
wanted to go to dinner for her birthday with her dad and I. She accepted and
that is when the long journey of mending our relationship began. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">She would
eventually leave that relationship for another and that relationship would also
end. She has<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>now <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>returned to college and has been in a
committed relationship for a couple years with a beautiful young woman who has
two adorable children. They are a family and they have become a part of our
family. We celebrate holidays, birthdays and family dinners together. Our
family relationship has mended. It isn’t perfect but it is good. We are all
working at making our family stronger and healthier.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Over the
years I have read articles written by Christians that have told me that my
daughter will go to hell and that God doesn’t love her and I have read other
articles by Christians that have told me that God <u>does</u> love her and that
we are not to judge. And I have had Christians tell me that I just need to
continue to pray and that if Ashley was really a Christian then she would leave
her lifestyle and then there have been other Christians tell me that I just
need to love my daughter and accept her for who she is. It left me confused. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">What does
God believe? I’ve read the scripture passages over and over, I know what they
say. But even though I know what they say, I know in my heart and I know what God
has told me in our quiet times together, that he doesn’t hate my daughter. He
has never told me that she is going to go to hell. What God has told me is that
our family would be okay and that we would make it through. And he was right. He
has told me that she is His child, His beloved. He has told me to care for her,
support her, accept her and surround her with love and that is what I am doing.
I’m not going to turn my back on her. I’ve read the Bible looking for answers
and what I find is that my God is a loving, merciful, forgiving, redeeming,
wonderful God.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Ashley is
our first born. We raised her to know right from wrong. We taught her about
Jesus and how he loves her. She is funny, smart, witty, beautiful, caring and
compassionate. She would help anyone even at the expense of what she needs. My
love has grown stronger for her each year that she has been a part of my life.
I may not have always liked or agreed with what she has done and yes there have
been times where her actions and words have broken this mama’s heart, but I
have never stopped loving her. God isn’t finished with my daughter and I continue
to see the beautiful woman that he created her to be. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">There has
been a debate going on for years about whether or not homosexual couples should
marry. People for and against have spoken words of hate and this has scared me.
You will never find me protesting on the steps of a federal or state building
or posting statuses, articles or pictures on Facebook or Twitter about
homosexuality. It’s not part of my personality. But what I can do is share my
story, the story of a mom who has come a long way from wanting to change her
daughter to wanting to understand her daughter. God hasn’t changed her but he
did change my heart. This has been a journey of almost 9 years. Throughout this
journey I have held on tightly to God for strength, courage, understanding,
hope and love. This journey has led me to a deeper and more intimate
relationship with God. <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">May my story
help those who may be struggling with a similar situation and may it also help
those to be more loving and understanding to those who are different then
themselves. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">For God, who said, “let light shine out of darkness,” made his light
shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God
in the face of Christ. (2 Corinthians 4:6)<o:p></o:p></span></span></i><br />
<br />
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Blessings and peace,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Jill<o:p></o:p></span></span></i><br />
Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00028145011860010860noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334580972312674921.post-61738892277323921162013-01-01T14:01:00.000-06:002013-01-01T14:01:29.852-06:00New Year - New Word
<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/--lZAL0fchP0/UONAIeIkl7I/AAAAAAAAAHY/4YAG0dbeJoI/s1600/simplicity.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="117" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/--lZAL0fchP0/UONAIeIkl7I/AAAAAAAAAHY/4YAG0dbeJoI/s320/simplicity.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">In 2007 I read a book
titled <em>“Thursdays at Eight”</em> by Debbie Macomber. It’s about a group of friends
who would meet every Thursday morning for breakfast or coffee. In this story an
idea for my own life sprung off of the pages. Each woman would pick a word at
the beginning of the year that they would use as the theme for that year. I
liked that idea and have been doing this ever since reading the book. Each year
the word that I have chosen has brought a new meaning and depth to my life.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></span><span style="font-size: 14pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">For 2012 my word was “Awaken”. Here is what I
wrote in my journal about choosing this word, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“I picked this word because I no longer want to sleep walk or sleep
live my days while here on this earth. God has given me this life and a purpose
to these days and I don’t want to miss any of what he has for me. So many times
I take for granted all of the wonderful, joy-filled blessings that I have been
given because I am too busy numbing my mind and spirit with useless things…I
need to be awake to all that God has given to me and to remember that God
provides all of what I need.”<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Little did I know on
January 1, 2012 when I chose the word Awaken, how my life and the life of my
family would be awakened to so much and how God would provide all of what we
would need to live through it.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">2012 brought with it joy, pain,
loneliness, exhaustion, laughter, thanksgiving and blessings. Through all of
the ups and downs, twists and turns we found God beside us, ahead of us,
holding us, directing us and simply being with us. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I began a new job as
Director of Women’s Ministry, our oldest daughter went back to college, our
first grandson was born but with complications that would keep him in the
hospital the first 5 months of his little, on Christmas Day God would give us
the special gift of bringing Jackson home from the hospital so that he and his
mommy and daddy could begin their life as a family under one roof, our son
would move 500 miles away to start a new life in a new place, become engaged to
a beautiful sweet young woman, and my husband and I would become empty nesters
and would begin a new chapter of our lives getting to know one another again.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Within all of what happened
there are details that I won’t share but please know that there were many
challenges, struggles, anxiety, anticipation and waiting, lots of waiting. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">So on this the first day
of the new year, I look back on 2012 with relief in knowing that we made it
through stronger and with a deeper connection with one another and with God and
I look forward to what lies ahead for me in 2013.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: 14pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 14pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">As I close the chapter of
my life titled “Awaken”, I begin a new chapter with a new word. I took a long
time thinking about which word I would choose for this year. Many words
traveled through my thoughts but one word stood out among the others. My word
for 2013 is “Simplicity”. The word simplicity brings calmness to my spirit that
I deeply need.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<br />
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I realized after a year
filled with new responsibilities, traveling back and forth to see my grandson
for 5 months, the everyday drama and challenges that my own choices and decisions
brought to my life and those that other people brought to my life, I am ready
for a little more simple and a lot less hectic. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">So this year I am searching,
beckoning, needing and embracing a more simple way of life. This year I will be
sharing with you all that I discover and learn as I search for simplicity. And
with every new word I will bring God along for the ride. Turning to him to
reveal to me the simple pleasures, blessings, changes and growth opportunities
that may bring to me simplicity. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">So as we begin 2013, I
wish each of you a year filled with God’s blessings. May you have more love,
joy, laughter, courage, growth and simplicity. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><em>Blessings,</em></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: 14pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><em>Jill<o:p></o:p></em></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14pt;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p></span></div>
Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00028145011860010860noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334580972312674921.post-86096858989794024502012-10-02T21:14:00.000-05:002012-10-02T21:14:43.220-05:0031 Days of Living - JacksonWanted: a magic wand, fairy dust or a working time machine. Any of these will work, as long as it can help bring my grandson home from the hospital to be with his mommy and daddy. My grandson has been living in Omaha Nebraska at Children's Hospital since July 25, 2012, the day he entered this world, while his mommy, daddy and grandparents, live and work 1 1/2 hours away. Jackson was born with a condition called Esophageal Atresia. His esophagus didn't connect together and so he has been in the hospital waiting for it to grow 2 cm before they can do surgery to connect the two sections. Yesterday they checked to see if it had grown enough but unfortunately it still has a tiny bit more to grow which means they will not be doing surgery until the first of November. This means waiting another month. Tomorrow he will be 10 weeks old. He has never gone for a walk in his stroller, a ride in the car, has never seen his blue nursery with his toy box that grandpa painted and put wooden cars, trucks and airplanes on or his name on the wall above his crib. He has never breathed in the fresh air from outdoors or seen a puppy dog. Jackson has been living in a small area of the NNICU his entire short little life. His mommy and daddy visit him every weekend, I go one day a week and his other grandma goes on another day. We also go every weekend so that grandpa can visit him too. This is Jackson's life. <br />
<br />
The last 10 weeks have tested our patience and faith. It has also made us more aware of what is important, family, love, hope and joy. Little things just don't get us upset anymore. Time has become important. Checking off the days on the calendar and looking ahead to being able to see his precious face, to hold him, sing to him and read to him. Our life revolves around time spent with Jackson and the time spent away from Jackson. <br />
<br />
This is not a journey we signed up for. This is not something we asked for. This is not something that we prayed for. But God has seen us through. With God our faith has been restored, our patience has grown and our hope in tomorrow refreshed. The joy that Jackson has brought to our lives far out weighs any of the sadness or frustration that we have expressed or the tears that we have shed. God has given us the strength to endure and the perseverance to continue on. God has been our rock and our fortress. <br />
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We know that Jackson will be coming home to his mommy and daddy and his blue room. He will run, jump, laugh, cry and drive his parents crazy. He will grow into the man that God intends him to be and he will be blessed. God placed Jackson on this earth for a reason and I can't wait to watch that little boy grow into a strong, compassionate, caring and loving man. </div>
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Jackson David, your Nana loves you!!</div>
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Blessings,</div>
Jill<br />
<br />
Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00028145011860010860noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334580972312674921.post-24995411217902318972012-10-01T21:00:00.003-05:002012-10-02T21:33:56.683-05:0031 Days of Living<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-hvrCRRcambc/UGpGXiLu4SI/AAAAAAAAAGk/F-NGDVM8jxc/s1600/31+days+button.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" kea="true" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-hvrCRRcambc/UGpGXiLu4SI/AAAAAAAAAGk/F-NGDVM8jxc/s1600/31+days+button.jpg" /></a></div>
Today I am joining <a href="http://www.thenester.com/">the Nester</a> and a group of bloggers in writing about a certain topic for 31 days. So... for the entire month of October, I will be writing on 31 Days of Living. I thought for a long time what my topic should be and I just couldn't grasp hold of any one thing so I decided to write on living. Living is what we do, what we try to do and also what we try and figure out to do. Does that make sense or am I just overly tired? <br />
<br />
This is also a way for me to get back into writing. If you took a look at the date of my last blog you would find that I haven't written anything since June. So I hope you will join me on this adventure each day and join me in a little bit of living.<br />
<br />
Blessings,<br />
<em>Jill</em><br />
<br />
<em>You can follow along here each day of the 31 Days of Living posts.</em><br />
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<em>Day 2 - <a href="http://jill-myjourney-jill.blogspot.com/2012/10/31-days-of-living-jackson.html">Jackson</a></em>Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00028145011860010860noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334580972312674921.post-69823331723237975642012-06-04T18:10:00.000-05:002012-06-04T18:10:20.601-05:00Ask, Seek, Knock<em>Hi Friends</em>,<br />
<br />
This past weekend I had the privilege of leading worship at my church, <a href="http://www.gracesiouxcity.org/">Grace United Methodist Church</a>. The title of my message was "Ask, Seek, Knock" and the scripture was from Matthew 7:7-12 (NLT). Here is the video of my message for those who would like to view it. Click on <a href="http://vimeo.com/43360893">http://vimeo.com/43360893</a> to view the video.<br />
<br />
Blessings,<br />
<em>Jill</em>Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00028145011860010860noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334580972312674921.post-19926415716109817282012-04-06T11:30:00.001-05:002012-04-06T11:30:33.446-05:00Journey to the Cross<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-w0XkcL2ibK4/T38XJI5AqzI/AAAAAAAAAGc/dggxlvpOzQk/s1600/the+cross.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="133" nda="true" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-w0XkcL2ibK4/T38XJI5AqzI/AAAAAAAAAGc/dggxlvpOzQk/s200/the+cross.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I came to the cross today. I had followed the path to the place they said Jesus was crucified. My walk was slow and difficult to bear. The baggage I carried on my back was too heavy and at times I stopped to rest but I could see it off in the distance, the cross. This was a journey I needed to take and my destination seemed far but I picked up the bags and continued on. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There were those who said I shouldn’t go, that I was too weak. Others said I couldn’t go, I wouldn’t be welcomed. There were those who called me names, hurtful names that made me think they were right. Along that path those names played over and over in my mind. The feelings reached deep into my soul. Was I too broken? Was I not worthy? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Would I not be welcomed? I almost turned around but something deep down inside of me kept telling me to go, so I traveled on. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The cross was getting closer and I could start to see the shadow of it. I felt the tears creep into the corners of my eyes and the weight and pain from the baggage was almost too much to endure. My legs felt as if they couldn’t take another step. My body was weary and blisters had formed on my feet. I felt the sweat drip down my back and my head hung low. This journey was so hard, was it worth all this pain just to see the cross? I took a few more steps and stopped, my back ached and my head hurt. I set my baggage down and fell to my knees. How far had I walked, how much farther did I need to go? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">As I slowly lifted my head, there before me stood the cross. It was larger than what I had imagined. I reached out to touch it, the wood rough as I moved my hand over it. As I leaned into the cross I stood up, the cross bearing my weight. I took a few steps backwards and took in the full view. It was large and as I looked closer it looked as if someone had splattered red paint on it. But it wasn’t paint, it was where the blood of Jesus had dripped and fallen. It made me catch my breath. Around the base of the cross, sprinkled on the dirt was more blood. The pain of what Jesus had endured became apparent to me. I looked closer and I could see where the holes were made that had held the nails that pierced his skin. The sign above the cross read “This is Jesus, King of the Jews”. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I stood there in the shadow of the cross. My baggage lay at my feet, the baggage that I had carried with me on this journey to the cross. And then a voice from behind me said, <em>“I’m glad you made it.”</em> I turned and there was a man I didn’t recognize. He spoke again, <em>“I’m glad you made it. I’ve been waiting for you.”</em> I took a step towards him to get a better look. Did I know this man? Had I met him before? He looked vaguely familiar. Was he someone from my childhood? It seemed so long ago that I was a child, safe and secure in my parent’s home. He asked me if my journey had been difficult. I almost laughed out loud but stopped myself. I told him it had been the most difficult journey of my life and I didn’t even know exactly why I had come, but there was something that had pushed me and wouldn’t let me stop. He told me that there were others who had traveled this same path. Some had turned around because it had gotten to difficult but there were more like me who had continued on and had stood right where I was standing, at the foot of the cross. I asked him if they were happy they had made it and he told me that it had changed their lives. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">As he spoke to me he began to look familiar. But where did I know him from? Those eyes, I was sure I had seen those eyes before. They felt as if they could see straight through me, not in a piercing way but in a caring way. They were the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I asked him if there was a place where I could stay, a place to get a drink of water, have a meal, rest my weary body. He pointed to the north and told me there was a small village just over the hill where I would find a place to rest. I thanked him and reached out to shake his hand. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">As his hand came towards mine, something caught my eye. It was a mark on his palm. It almost looked like a hole but how could that be? As my hand slid into his, my fingers touched the mark. I raised my head and looked at the man. Suddenly I remembered where I had seen his face and those eyes. My parents had a picture that use to hang in their bedroom of Jesus standing before a door. My eyes filled with tears and my knees buckled underneath me as I fell at his feet, my head bowed.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"> I felt his hand touch my head and all at once the weariness, weight and pain that I had felt along the journey suddenly left. My body didn’t ache, my head didn’t hurt and I felt a feeling of love and acceptance that I hadn’t felt in years. He spoke to me in a voice that was soft and his words sunk deep into my soul. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">He took his hand from my head and as I stood to look into those eyes once again, I saw that he had picked up my baggage. He told me that I wouldn’t need it anymore. He turned and began to walk down the path, carrying my bags, the weight pulling at his shoulders. I turned to look up at the cross, reaching out my hand to touch it, but when I looked back to see how far he had gone, he wasn’t there. The path was empty. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">This journey that I had traveled had been long and difficult but as I stood in the shadow of the cross I knew that all that I had endured, the pain, the shame and the ridicule was no longer a part of who I was. Jesus had taken the bags that had weighed me down for so many years and as I stepped out of the shadow of the cross, I felt the light of the sun touch my face, and I knew that my life would never be the same. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><em>Blessings,</em></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><em>Jill</em></span></div>Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00028145011860010860noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334580972312674921.post-46765144328362731382012-04-05T21:01:00.000-05:002012-04-05T21:01:16.912-05:00Come to the Table<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">
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<em>"When evening came, Jesus was reclining at the table with the Twelve.”</em></div>
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Do you speak softly and listen intently? Or do you interrupt, not allowing others to finish their sentences?</div>
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<em>And while they were eating, he said, “Truly I tell you, one of you will betray me.” They were very sad and began to say to him one after the other, “Surely you don’t mean me, Lord?” </em></div>
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Do you share about your day, your experiences at school, work or home? Are joys celebrated and lessons learned?</div>
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<em>Jesus replied, “The one who has dipped his hand into the bowl with me will betray me. The Son of Man will go just as it is written about him. But woe to that man who betrays the Son of Man! It would be better for him if he had not been born.” Then Judas, the one who would betray him, said, “Surely you don’t mean me, Rabbi?” Jesus answered, “You have said so.” </em></div>
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Do you pass the food until everyone has been served and do you offer thanks to God for the blessings before you?</div>
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<em>While they were eating, Jesus took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and gave it to his disciples, saying, “Take and eat; this is my body.” Then he took a cup, and when he had given thanks, he gave it to them, saying, “Drink from it, all of you. This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins. I tell you, I will not drink from this fruit of the vine from now on until that day when I drink it new with you in my Father’s kingdom.” </em></div>
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Tonight we come to the table observing the Lord’s Last Supper. On this night Jesus would break bread and pass the cup and announce that one of those closest to him would betray him. </div>
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How do you come to the table tonight? Is your head bowed down? Are you filled with worry, regret and shame? Jesus said, <em>“Take and eat; this is my body and drink from this cup; this is my blood, which is poured out for you for the forgiveness of sins.”</em></div>
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Tonight, come to the table. Sit with Jesus. Listen to his words. Savor his presence. Eat and drink from his cup. And give thanks to God.</div>
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<em>“When they had sung a hymn, they went out to the Mount of Olives.”</em></div>
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<em>Blessings,</em><br />
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<em>Jill</em></div>
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<br /></div>Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00028145011860010860noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334580972312674921.post-71537898679331589682012-03-27T16:41:00.000-05:002012-03-27T16:41:39.195-05:00The Path of Least Resistance<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Last year over Labor Day Weekend, my husband Dave and I, along with our son Andrew, were staying in our family cabin in the Black Hills of South Dakota. The cabin is in Spearfish Canyon and the walls of the canyon face the front and the back of it. Dave and Andrew love to go for long hikes up to the rim rock where you can look for miles at the beautiful landscape of the Black Hills. They had found another trail and begged me to go on it with them. I wasn’t so sure about it but decided that I would go. Now I have to let it be known that the older I get the more afraid of heights I am. So this wasn’t going to be an easy task for me but I said a prayer and headed up the path. <br />
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The first few yards weren’t bad. We were talking and sharing observations with each other and I have to admit it was fun. The trail began to get a little more rugged and the climb steep. My breath became more labored but manageable. We had been climbing for quite a while when we stopped and my husband said turn around and look at the view. BIG MISTAKE!!! The only thing I saw was how far up the canyon we had climbed and how far down to the bottom we could fall. The hike suddenly became a path of resistance. I no longer wanted to talk, observe or view the scenery. I went into a panic and anxiety filled me. I became frozen. Dave and Andrew continued to talk about how high we had come, how beautiful it was and how fresh the air smelled as I sat completely still on a boulder. The only thought that was going through my mind was how in the world I was going to go back down that trail and would it really be that much of a problem if a helicopter could just hover over head, drop a basket that I could climb into and then take me back to the cabin? <br />
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Dave interrupted my thoughts by telling me it was time to continue up. I believe I gave him a look that said it all. There was no way I was going anywhere and especially going up that trail. It was over and I didn’t want to talk about it anymore. He started giving me the “pep talk” filled with encouraging words. I wasn’t listening and then Andrew joined in by trying to tell me that it wasn’t that far to go to the top. Tears filled my eyes and I silently prayed to God to just lift me off the boulder and place my feet on the ground below. I begged him for a miracle so that I wouldn’t have to face climbing down. <br />
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Dave soon realized that I was serious and told me that he would help me by being right in front of me and that we would take it very slow. We started down and I held on to him tightly. Each step felt like it was the last and at times I had to remind myself to breathe. When we finally reached the part of the path where it was easy I felt my body begin to shake. I had been so scared that I had tensed up every muscle. <br />
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Dave and Andrew love the adventure, exhilaration and challenge that they face when hiking and I hope they never lose those feelings.<br />
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I on the other hand, enjoy walking the path of least resistance. I don’t have to struggle to communicate with the person I am walking with. My words are not labored, my voice is not strained and my heart beats a steady thump-thump. The path is tranquil, serene and smooth. There are no logs to climb over, boulders to scale or tree branches swishing back into my face.<br />
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This is also the path that I enjoy the most when walking with God. I’ve walked down into those deep valleys with him and up those mountain trails. Those are the times that I don’t think twice about asking for his help. God has held my hand, pushed me up, carried me down and given me a pep talk filled with encouraging words every time. But the path that I really enjoy and sometimes forget that he is on with me is the path of least resistance. The path where there are no deep valleys or mountain top climbs. Sometimes I am walking on the path looking straight ahead and out of the corner of my eye I see his gentle face and his hand reaching for mine. <em>“I forgot you were here”,</em> I say as I place my hand into his. He turns his face to mine and says, <em>“Child, I am always here, always near, never more than a heartbeat away. Take my hand and tell me about your day.”</em><br />
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Blessings,<br />
<em>Jill</em><br />
<br />Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00028145011860010860noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334580972312674921.post-25373738487432082962012-03-26T11:58:00.000-05:002012-03-26T11:58:15.831-05:00Becoming Uncomfortable<em>Dear Bloggie Friends,</em><br />
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I wanted to share my message with all of you that I gave yesterday at Grace United Methodist Church where I am the Director of Women's Ministry. The title of the message is <em>"Becoming Uncomfortable"</em> from John 12:20-33 (NLT). Click on this link to watch the video <a href="http://vimeo.com/39150062">http://vimeo.com/39150062</a><br />
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Blessings,<br />
<em>Jill</em>Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00028145011860010860noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334580972312674921.post-77101605328140905012012-03-20T18:09:00.000-05:002012-03-20T18:09:48.911-05:00Has Anyone Seen My Sneakers?<strong><em>Made to Crave - Day 20</em></strong><br />
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In May of 2010 I made a decision to start walking and to lose the excess pounds that I had been carrying around for the past years. My daughter was going to be getting married in October of 2010 and I did not want to go shopping for a dress and spend most of my time standing in the dressing room with a beautiful dress on that was too small while tears streamed down my cheeks. Been there, done that!!<br />
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So I joined Weight Watchers and started walking a 5.6 mile loop. That first day I thought I was going to die! I am not kidding you. It was the hardest thing I had done in a very long time. At one point I know that I was crying out to God for someone, anyone to come by and offer me a ride home. God wouldn’t allow it. I got home and collapsed. The next day I put on my sneakers and headed out the door, very sore and asking myself if it was really worth it. It was and I continued doing it every day. Even on the days that the temperature reached 100 I was walking. The weight started to come off and my husband decided to join me. We would have times of walking and talking or just walking and being quiet. We encouraged one another and by the time of the wedding I had lost 35 pounds.<br />
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I will never forget the feeling of finding the dress I would wear for the wedding. It was the first dress I tried on and it was a size 10. Not a 16 but a 10 and I felt beautiful. I did cry that day in the dressing room but the tears that fell on my face were tears of joy and accomplishment. I had stayed focused on the goal and I had achieved it. I was so proud of myself. <br />
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The only problem with the goal that I made for myself was that when the wedding was over, so was my goal. I found myself not having anything to work for. I still needed to lose about 10 pounds to get where I wanted to but I didn’t have anything to help keep me motivated. My husband and I joined a gym when winter came and we were good about going and I maintained my weight. When spring came I thought that I would just get back outside and walk but I didn’t. I started to make excuses that I was too busy or it was too hot or I was too tired. I stopped walking and I started eating. I have now gained back 20 pounds of what I had lost and I am miserable.<br />
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I continue to come up with every excuse possible to not walk and to not eat healthy. But then I read the scripture passage from 1 Corinthians 6:19, <em>“Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought with a price. Therefore, honor God with your body.” </em><br />
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My body is a temple and I am to honor God by taking care of it. Wow, that stung. I haven’t been honoring my body but dishonoring God. God sent Jesus to walk this earth and to die on the cross for me. Christ felt the pain of death on that cross. He felt the pain of the nails being driven into his hands and his feet, the thorns piercing his head and the sword cutting his side. When I picture Christ’s pain I realize that I no longer can use the excuse that I am too tired, it is too hot or I am too busy. Christ suffered so that I wouldn’t have to suffer. My being uncomfortable is no longer an excuse I want to make. My heart has been divided, one side knowing that I need to honor God but the other side being loyal to my cravings.<br />
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So now I will turn to God with my heart and pray that He will help me. <em>“Teach me your way, O Lord, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name. I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart; I will glorify your name forever.”</em> (Psalm 86:11-12). I can no longer be loyal to my cravings, desires, and excuses for not exercising; I will now be committed to being loyal to honoring God with my body which is a temple of the Holy Spirit. <br />
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<em>"Has anyone seen my sneakers?"</em><br />
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<em>Blessings,</em><br />
<em>Jill</em>Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00028145011860010860noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334580972312674921.post-31941465924912034692012-03-15T18:05:00.000-05:002012-03-15T18:05:42.130-05:00Nothing tastes as good as peace feels!<strong><em>Made to Crave – Day 15</em></strong><br />
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<em>“Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food.” (Romans 14:19-20a)</em><br />
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Last night at my Made to Crave class, we were given our assignments for the week which are:<br />
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• To focus our thoughts on God, not food.<br />
• To open our eyes and look for ways to love others.<br />
• On a piece of paper, write, “Nothing tastes as good as peace feels” and then place it on your refrigerator, your pantry or wherever you will see it.<br />
• And on another piece of paper write the word “peace” and place it over the numbers on your scale. Then every time you step on the scale, let the note remind you that your real weight loss goal is peace.<br />
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The first three I had no problem with, but that last one shook me up. I’m the person who as soon as I get out of bed in the morning I step on the scale. It’s how I start my day. Lately I’m not a very happy person when I see the numbers but I keep getting on thinking that just maybe the numbers will have changed. <br />
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When I saw this assignment I honestly thought there is no way I can do that. In fact I couldn’t even bring myself to put the piece of paper on the scale last evening when I got home from class. This morning though when I went into the bathroom I looked at the scale but I didn’t get on it. Something was pulling me away and I just couldn’t do it. So when I got home for lunch today I got a sticky note, got a pink marker, wrote the word “peace” on it and placed the sticky note on the scale covering the numbers. I then stood on the scale and looked down and all I saw was the word “peace” and I smiled. I read the word out loud and felt good. I didn’t feel the anxiety or the shame when I stood on the scale. I actually felt peace. <br />
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When we are so consumed by the numbers on the scale or the food that we eat, we will not have our eyes open to what God has for us even if it is right in front of our face. Seeing the word “peace” didn’t give me anxiety or leave me feeling defeated or stressed. When I read the word “peace” I felt calm and a feeling of empowerment filled my soul. I walked out of the bathroom with a determination I hadn’t felt before and I said out loud, <em>“Nothing tastes as good as peace feels.”</em><br />
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<em>Blessings,</em><br />
<em>Jill</em>Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00028145011860010860noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334580972312674921.post-8308111499692848532012-03-14T16:40:00.000-05:002012-03-14T16:40:41.808-05:00Caution - Having an unbalanced life can lead to weight gain!<strong><em>Made to Crave – Day 14</em></strong><br />
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<em>“I tell you, open your eyes and look, at the fields! They are ripe for the harvest.” (John 4:35b)</em><br />
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I can’t remember the last time my stomach actually growled with hunger pains. I can’t even remember the last time I even felt a little bit hungry. It probably has to do with the 20 pounds I put back on over this last year, after working hard to lose 35. I haven’t allowed myself to be hungry. But I can tell you I have felt spiritually hungry and even off balanced in my spiritual and personal life.<br />
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I began a new staff position at my church in November of last year, which has taken over my life. Now don’t get me wrong, I LOVE my new position. I am the Director of Women’s Ministry and I am so happy for this opportunity to serve women in the church and to actually get paid to do it. I remember Kathie Lee Gifford say on her talk show a few years ago, that the advice her dad gave her and her sister when it came time to figure out what they wanted to do in a career was to do find what they loved to do and figure out a way to get paid for it. That’s me. I love what I do and I am blessed to be able to get paid while doing it. <br />
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The only problem with this new position is that I want to reach as many women as I can and I am also trying so hard to show people that this new position is worth getting paid for. I so want to succeed that I have let my time with God and my family be pushed aside and that is what has caused the imbalance in my life. Seeking the balance is hard to do. Right now I feel that I am being pulled in 3 different directions: God, family and job and I am allowing myself to let my job pull me a lot further. <br />
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Seeking the balance in our lives is tricky. There is always someone or something that wants to pull us in their direction and so we let the other areas slip. Having an unbalanced spiritual and personal life will leave you feeling insecure, discouraged, overwhelmed, unorganized and aggravated. It’s not a healthy position to be in. When I am unbalanced in these areas I feel like I can’t accomplish anything. And the last thing I want to think about is what I am eating and when I’m going to exercise. So what do I do? I reach for foods like; cookies, crackers, chips, anything that I can pop in my mouth and fill that emptiness that I have created in myself from being unbalanced. <br />
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When we find ourselves being physically overweight and spiritually underweight we need to remember: <br />
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• Food can fill our stomachs but never our souls.<br />
• Possessions can fill our houses but never our hearts.<br />
• Sex can fill our nights but never our hunger for love.<br />
• Children can fill our days but never our identities.<br />
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Only time spent with Jesus can fill us and truly satisfy us and he really wants us to really believe that. Only by being filled with soul food from Jesus – following Him and telling others about Him – will our souls ever be truly satisfied. <br />
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Instead of reaching for that sweet or salty morsel I need to reach for God’s word. Instead of getting out of my chair and heading towards the kitchen, I need to get on my knees and pray to the One who loves me unconditionally and can give me all that I need and can fill those empty places inside of me that I have created.<br />
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Thought for the Day (from the Made to Crave devotional) – "<em>Food can fill my stomach but never my soul."</em><br />
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<em>Blessings,</em><br />
<em>Jill</em>Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00028145011860010860noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3334580972312674921.post-19727166088782997272012-03-13T16:39:00.000-05:002012-03-13T16:39:36.224-05:00Squeezing into small spaces<strong><em>Made to Crave – Day 13</em></strong><br />
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My family has 2 pets. A dog named Libby and a cat named Phoebe. We did have a turtle but poor Myrtle went to go live in a more heavenly pond last week so we are just down to the cat and dog. Phoebe the cat is 16 years old and is as feisty today as she was when we brought her home from the pet store. Every time she does something naughty I kindly remind my husband that he was the one who picked her out. The kids and I wanted a cute little gray kitty but my husband wanted Phoebe because she had the same black and white markings of a dairy cow. At the time that we purchased her, my husband worked for the computer company Gateway and their logo looked like the markings of a dairy cow. <br />
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Phoebe was a great cat until we brought home the dog and then she developed an attitude that hasn’t gone away. There is definitely some sibling rivalry on her part or she just thinks that the dog is the dumbest thing on four legs and is just too good to even bother with her. That is until she sits right in front of the dogs dish and will not let her eat until she is ready to move. This is a daily occurrence in our home.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-h1ZaFrKfRXI/T1-9D_blljI/AAAAAAAAAGE/eyiRx-qYgoI/s1600/Phoebe.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img aea="true" border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-h1ZaFrKfRXI/T1-9D_blljI/AAAAAAAAAGE/eyiRx-qYgoI/s1600/Phoebe.jpg" /></a></div>How many times do we squeeze our self into a small space thinking that we will be comfortable only to find that we have no room to move? Or putting on those jeans that are a size or more too small just because we won’t admit that we’ve put on a little extra weight? Sometimes we put ourselves into small places because we feel more secure and less afraid. It’s hard to put ourselves out there when there is a fear of failure or defeat. The problem with small places or boxes is that there is no room to grow, no room to expand and no room to breathe. We keep ourselves confined because it makes us feel safe but in reality it makes us become even more afraid. To grow we must give ourselves the space to grow.<br />
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There was a Chinese custom that would be used on the feet of small girls to stop their feet from growing. They would bind the feet very tightly and that way the feet would be unable to grow. It was thought that women with big feet were not feminine. This caused major problems for the girls as they grew into women. The bones and muscles didn’t develop correctly in their feet or their legs. <br />
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When we place ourselves or others into boxes or categories, we stop the opportunity of becoming everything that God wants us to become. Removing ourselves from the small places we have put ourselves into takes courage, determination and faith. It takes faith in our self and faith in God. <em>Faith is standing at the edge of the darkness and knowing that one of two things will happen…There will be something to stand on or you will be taught how to fly.</em> Only God can give you the strength to take that first step and God is the only one who will give you the wings to fly. <br />
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Today, take that step out of the box you have put yourself into and experience the wings that God will give you to help you grow.<br />
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<em>"Be on guard. Stand firm in the faith. Be courageous. Be strong. And do everything with love." 1 Corinthians 16:12-14</em><br />
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<em>Blessings,</em><br />
<em>Jill</em>Jillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00028145011860010860noreply@blogger.com0