It's good to be back from a very busy Summer!!

Hello dear blog friends,

I've missed you!! To say I have been busy is an understatement. Summer is usually a time of relaxing and no busy schedules. This last spring I had no idea what I would be doing this Fall and no idea how busy I would be during this past summer. The best I can do to explain is to just tell you what I've been up to each month. Hopefully I won't bore you but it's the only way. So here it goes.

May - On Mother's Day I hosted a brunch for both sides of the family. It was so great to have everyone here and the weather turned out to be cool but no rain. My Aunt and Uncle from Missouri were able to be here and it was so nice to visit with them.

I had an opportunity to preach one Sunday at my childhood church 3rd Presbyterian. It is always so nice to go "back home" to be with those who helped set this girl on her faith journey.

We celebrated the graduations of our neices, Emily and Lindsey. I can not believe that they are old enough to be heading off to college this Fall. They are beautiful young women and I am so proud of them.

June - June started out with going to Des Moines Iowa for 4 days to attend the Iowa Annual Conference of the United Methodist Church. What a wonderful time spent with hundreds of people who love the Lord and want the church to continue to grow and do the work of the Lord. I also got to room with my dear friend Valerie who at the time was the Associate Pastor at our church but was appointed July 1 to another church in a community 3 hours away.

3rd Presbyterian invited me to preach 2 Sundays in June with one of them being on Father's Day . What a great day! I had family there that had not heard me preach and it was a very special day. Part of my message was spent talking about my Dad and what he has taught me in my life. It was emotional but I made it through and my Dad gave me a huge hug at the end of the service.

On June 22nd my husband and I celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary. Our 3 kids had a dinner party the Saturday before at a local restaurant with family and friends. It was a lovely evening and meant so much to us. I still can't believe it has been 25 years. It has not always been easy and Dave and I have grown up so much. But as I said that night to everyone "I wouldn't have missed a minute of it". I love my husband more today then the day we got married. I love his sense of humor, intelligence, support, strength, kindness, faith and love for his family. I pray that we are able to celebrate many more anniversaries together. God truly blessed me with Dave.

At the end of June I had to say goodbye to my friend Valerie. It was bittersweet as we celebrated her wedding to a wonderful man and wished her the best in her new church.

July - July brought 2 more Sundays of preaching at 3rd Pres and also chauffeuring our son to Drivers Ed classes. We celebrated my baby brother's 40th birthday and spent some time with my nieces from Montana who spend their summers with their Dad (my brother) and my sister-in-law.

August - August started off by saying goodbye to my nephew Sgt. Benjamin Handke as he left for Camp Shelby Mississippi. He will be deployed to Afghanistan in October. He is such a wonderful young man who is very strong in his faith and a great big brother to his sister Emily. I am so proud of him and pray that he will come home safely a year from now.

Kayla graduated from college and we were able to finally go on vacation to my parents cabin in Minnesota. It was a week of pure relaxation and fun. I was able to bike, swim, kayak and walk each day. Dave and I got up before everyone else each day and took the dog along with a cup of coffee to the dock and watched the beauty of God's creation. I've said it before but it truly is my very own "sanctuary". It is the most beautiful place on earth. One week just isn't enough but I am so blessed and thankful to be able to have a place like it to go to.

We celebrated my brother-in-laws 40th birthday and I was able to preach 2 Sundays at 3rd Pres and my brother who had never heard me preach before was able to be there for one of the Sundays.

I had to say goodbye to my sister Terri ,as she and her husband and little girl Aimee moved to Spearfish South Dakota. I've never been this far away from her and it is hard. She is the mother of Ben and her other daughter Emily started her freshman year at Iowa State.

Kayla's soon to be mother-in-law and my dear friend Sandy, gave her a beautiful bridal shower and our computer room is now filled with shower gifts.

September is now here and I am busy preparing for my Thursday evening Woman's Bible study that starts this Thursday and the One Day Women's Retreat that is on September 18th.

I am still trying to find my dress for the wedding and it is less than 4 weeks away. There is so much that still needs to be done for the wedding and I just keep praying that God will give me the patience and calmness that I need. The one thing I don't want to do is to get all caught up in the details and miss the experience of my daughter getting married.

Thankfully I was not asked to preach this month. I believe God knew that it would probably put me over the edge.

As you can see I was not appointed to a church. I spent May and June waiting but nothing happened and that is okay. I have said from the very beginning that when God is ready to open the door, there will be no obstacles in the way and I will have a place at a church.

I am still busy with my ministry and feel very called to continue in Women's Ministry. I have even felt that it is the area God wants me to be in. I just wake up every day asking God to use me in the way he sees fit and to open the doors to make it happen.

So there you have it. My summer in a nutshell. So how was your summer? Anything happen that you would like to share? Where did you go on vacation? Do you have a special place where you feel God's presence? I would love to hear from you.

Blessings,
Jill

Doing the "limbo" thing!

My life has been in limbo and I don't like the feeling. I've been on a journey over the last 4 years to be in ministry. My first thought was to have a bigger role as a lay person within my church and then I started to feel God calling me to do something even larger. I kept feeling the nudge to look into becoming a Local Pastor in the United Methodist Church. Maybe I shouldn't say nudge but call. Over the last 2 years that is the direction that I have felt led to go. I have taken all the steps, answered questions, taken tests and in November was declared a certified candidate for ministry. So what does that mean? Well, in the United Methodist Church it means that I am now on the list to be appointed to a church. And that is what has me feeling like my life is in limbo. I have felt like my life is in the hands of the Bishop and Cabinet of District Superintendents and not my own. Starting in January and February each year the Bishop and Cabinet start preparing and working towards setting up the appointments. If you are one waiting to hear, it can be a very stressful time until you receive a call. I have not received a call yet. You see, when you receive the call you have a decision to make. Do I take it or do I decline. If you take it then you meet with the church leaders and if everything looks and feels right, you have a church. Your life then has direction. You know where you are going and when it is happening. During the time of waiting for a call, your life is in limbo. It's hard to make plans for vacation. You're not sure if you should make decisions on doing anything in your church for the next program year because you're not sure if you are going to be there. It's a hard place to be. During this time my moods have been like a roller coaster ride. One minute I'm fine with not getting called and the next I'm upset. I started to question what it was God wanted me to do. Maybe my place is not in the pulpit but creating a stronger women's ministry at my church or maybe I need to look for other options in another denomination. I have had the most restless nights of sleep that I have had to take a Tylenol PM just to get a full nights sleep once in a while. It has been driving me crazy!! I have questioned myself and God and have not received any answers. That is until today.

Today as I sat at work I had an "Ah Ha" moment. Who am I to question God? Who am I to doubt what it is God has been working within me? Who am I to question myself and my abilities? Who am I to try and figure it out on my own and make decisions that may not benefit me and may go against God's plans?

God has a plan for me and even though I can't see the end result I shouldn't try and second guess him or myself. If I don't get called to be in the pulpit then it just means God has something else planned. Maybe God wants me to work a little bit more and fine tune what I have been doing. Maybe God is waiting to open another door that will result in something bigger and better than I ever thought possible. Maybe, just maybe God is in control and I'm not. "Wham", that's the thought that set my head spinning.

God is in control. The funny thing is, is that on Sunday I preached at my church I grew up in, giving them God's message that he is in control. That we are not to worry or be anxious about anything but instead we should spend that time in prayer. It was a message from Philippians 4:1-9. It is a great passage and this "pastor to be" should have been listening to her own words. Sometimes the one who needs to hear it the most is the one speaking the words. God has quite the sense of humor!!!!

So I sit here waiting, but not in limbo. I'm going to go about my days doing what I normally do. I'll look at new Bible studies. I'll read the books I purchased on how to develop a strong Women's Ministry. I'll fill in at the pulpit for other churches. I'll research new material for next year's women's retreat. What I will not do is worry or question God. I will not spend anymore time trying to decipher what it is I am suppose to do. I won't spend time looking at the calendar and planning alternate vacation dates. I will set the date and plan our vacation to Little Blueberry Lake. I will live my life each day knowing that God is the Master Designer of my life and I will stand in the presence of his mighty hand as he directs the stars, paints the most beautiful colors across the universe and prepares for me a journey worth waiting for.

Blessings,
Jill

God's Pop Quiz!

For the past few days I have been studying the book of "Titus". Reading it's words, contemplating them in my head and praying that I can live out these words in my everyday life. On Thursday God decided to give me a little "Life" pop quiz. You see, the book of Titus (written by Paul and for his "true son in common faith", Titus) gives us instructions on how to live our lives, in the church and outside of the church. He instructs us to not be overbearing, not quick-tempered, but to be hospitable, self-controlled, upright, holy and disciplined. He goes on and instructs us to be mentors to the young, to show integrity and to be fully trusted.

On Thursday I failed God's pop quiz. Dreadfully failed it with a big fat "F" as a parent.

Thursday started out with the sun shining and the wind not blowing at 50 miles per hour. As I gazed out our front picture window I thanked God for what looked like a beautiful day ahead of me. I showered, did my hair, make-up and put on a freshly pressed blouse. I have to admit that when I looked in the mirror I was very happy with what I saw. I felt great! And to top it off, I had a hair appointment that I was looking forward to going to. I hadn't seen my "real" beautician in quite sometime and was in desperate need of a good cut. I had hurriedly gone to a less expensive establishment a couple of times and had even on one of those occasions got the bright or not so bright idea to get bangs. I now realize I was hormonal at the time and was not of sound mind. My "real" beautician would have realized that.

My husband had already left to attend an all day conference and my daughter had left for her morning class. Our son was lazily lying in bed as I said goodbye, grabbed my purse and bag and headed to my van. When I opened the door the sound of beeping started to go off and I noticed that the spare key had been left in the ignition. My son the previous night had pulled the van into the garage for me. He has his permit and is always looking for a chance to drive one of the vehicles. I took out the spare, put in my key and turned the ignition. Nothing. Only the click, click noise of a van that did not want to start. And then I saw it. The inside lights had been left on all night. At this point I have to admit I could feel the temperature rising within me. I tried again and nothing. I got out of the van, stomped up the stairs and stood in the doorway of my son's room. This is where I failed. Instead of having self-control, staying calm and turning this into a learning experience as a mentor to a young person, I yelled. "You left the key in the ignition and the lights on and now my van won't start". "What were you thinking?". How am I going to get to work?" And most importantly, "How am I going to get to my hair appointment?" I stomped down the stairs called my husband but he didn't pick up. I yelled the same questions again to no one in particular, grabbed my stuff and headed out the front door. I was walking to work. Thankfully we only live 6 blocks away. After 2 blocks I looked down to notice I had on my black dress shoes and my feet were already starting to hurt. I was not turning back. I kept going, thinking the walk would give me time to calm down. It didn't. By the time I got to work, I was sweating, my hair had fallen and my feet hurt! It was not one of my finer moments.

An hour later my daughter called and offered to let me borrow her car in the afternoon for my hair appointment. Relieved I wouldn't miss my appointment I accepted her offer. But as the day went on, I felt increasingly terrible for the way I handled the situation. Here I had been studying the Word and praying to live it out and I failed at the first opportunity to do it. I could have shown my son how to react in a godly way, but I chose to let my emotions take over and turned into the mom I work very hard not to be. The "freak out", "jump to conclusions", "hot tempered" awful mom.

When I arrived home later, I apologized to my son and he apologized for leaving the lights on and he and his dad left to go purchase a new battery. All was well and yet God's words kept coming back to me. God had given me a test and although I failed, I learned a lot too. I learned that although I am not perfect, God forgives me and I am a work in progress. I learned that just because I failed this time, I will hopefully not react in the same way the next time. I learned that my son loves me and a dead battery only stops your car from going, not your life.

Blessings,
Jill

How did we get here?

Today is Good Friday. How did we get here? Wasn't it just yesterday we were celebrating the birth of our King? The snow was blowing and the wind was howling and we were unwrapping Christmas gifts and eating cookies and drinking hot cocoa. How did we get here? The days dragged on through January with cold winter nights and icy roads. We huddled under quilts and blankets and watched the snow fly. How did we get here? February brought promise with Ash Wednesday and Lent began. In March we started to feel the warmth of the sun and we started to prepare for the arrival once again for the King, only this time he was riding on a donkey alone while people spread palm branches and coats in front of him. How did we get here? We gathered last evening for our Kings last supper. We listened, prayed and ate of the bread and drank of the wine. We sang of what was going to happen. And today came. We woke this morning to cloudy skies and drops of rain but by midday the sun came out and the wind began to blow. And today came. This evening we will gather to sing the song "Were You There?" and we will pray. Tears will appear in some of our eyes as we think of our King on the cross. Beaten and hung with nails in his wrists and nails in his feet. Nailed to a cross with a crown of thorns on his head. Blood soaked and pierced with a sword in his side. And today came. Today came with a promise. A promise of a new day. A day that will be filled with joy and the sounds of trumpets blowing. A day that will be filled with the promise of love and forgiveness to all of the broken. And today came so that we may have the gift of eternal life with our King.

"Jesus, seeing that everything had been completed so that the scripture record might also be complete, then said, "I'm thirsty." A jug of sour wine was standing by. Someone put a sponge soaked with the wine on a javelin and lifted it to his mouth. After he took the wine, Jesus said, "It's done...complete." Bowing his head, he offered up his spirit." (John 19:28-30 The Message).

Blessings,
Jill

A Very Proud Aunt!

My niece Emily is a senior in high school and will be off to college this next Fall. When she was a baby I babysat her for the first few months of her little life. She has been a loving, funny, intelligent beautiful child and I am very proud to be her Aunt Jill. She has always had a special place in my heart. A few weeks ago she invited me to come and listen to her give a special talk to a group of young people who are part of T.E.C (Teens Encountering Christ). This afternoon I was privileged enough to listen to her speak to this group of high school age kids. She spoke on how her parents divorce had affected her relationship with her Mom (my sister) and how for a few years she could not get over everything that had happened. She talked about how she had loved her family the way it was and how she didn't understand why her world was falling apart and why God was letting it happen. How could she? She was in 6th grade and most of us couldn't understand, and we were adults. She spoke from the heart with her Mom and her Dad sitting there, how it had completely devastated her and how angry she was at her Mom. She was brought up going to church and Sunday school and knowing who God was. But the divorce stirred something inside of her that she didn't understand. She was not only mad at her Mom but she was mad at God. She said she would put on this happy face when in reality she was angry. But God is good and never gives up on us. In January of this year something happened to her while participating in a T.E.C weekend. God stirred something inside of her and her eyes were opened and the anger went away. She felt God working within in her and she walked away from that weekend a changed person. She spoke so eloquently, with courage, strength and faith that most adults don't have. My eyes were filled with tears as I watched this beautiful young woman tell her faith story with poise and grace. As she was surrounded by her family, friends and peers she was also surrounded by God. She spoke of God's never ending love for us. How God gave his only Son for us, so that we could be free.
This young woman touched the hearts of those young people this afternoon and when it was over 3 of them spoke to her about their own struggles when their parents divorced and how her talk had spoken to them. They were changed too. There has been a fire ignited inside of her that glows from the inside out and she is not afraid to tell those around her how it happened and what God can do. I am so very proud of her! I pray that God will continue to work within her. That he will continue to give her the strength, grace and courage to face the challenges that will be put before her as she grows from a young woman into an adult. I pray that she will always know she is loved. I pray that she will feel God's warm embrace and the comfort of his healing touch. I pray that she will be able to tell her story so that it may help others who are struggling with the choices that they have made or the choices that others have made. May God continue to bless Emily today and always.
Blessings,
Jill