Monday, November 22, 2010

Having to say goodbye

I'm not even sure how to start this blog today. It has been a hard journey over the past few weeks. On Saturday, October 30th I received a call from my mom telling me that my grandmother had only a few moments left of her life. Dave took be directly to the nursing home so that I could be with my mom and grandma. Within 15 minutes of arriving my grandma took her last breath and her spirit left her body. It was the most incredible moment I have ever witnessed other than the birth of each of my children. It was a blessing to be there in that moment. Life is a miracle coming in and a miracle going out.

My grandmother was 90 years old and had lived in a care facility over the last 5 years. Arthritis had consumed her beautiful body and dementia had crept into her mind. She was an incredible lady. At the funeral I was able to deliver the eulogy and I was honored to do it. My grandma was Irish/English. She was a woman that could be fun loving one moment and completely controlling the next. Everything she did was out of love for her husband and family. My grandfather passed away 10 years ago and my grandma had missed him everyday. When she breathed her last breath here on earth I knew that she was being embraced by my grandpa and they were dancing on heaven's floor.

The day before she died I had been visiting with her and when it was time for me to leave she held my hand and told me I was precious. Those were the last words my grandma spoke to me and I will treasure them forever. My grandma was precious to me. She loved to dress her best, have her nails and hair done, kept her house nice and neat and was a marvelous cook. She was a very classy lady and I miss her so much. She was a woman of faith who read her bible daily and knew how important it was to go to church and be a part of a community of faith. She reached out to her neighbors and friends and taught all of us how important that was. At her funeral there were many of her former neighbors, co-workers, church friends and family that gathered to say goodbye and to honor her with their loving words and memories.

It is hard to believe as the days pass that I am not able to talk to her, to hear her words of wisdom or see her beautiful smile. But when I look at my hands I see her hands and when I look in the mirror I see her smile. I thank God everyday for the time that I had with her and I pray that I can be as strong as she was in her faith and her life.

Goodbye grandma. I miss you and love you,

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